My sentiments exactly

I just saw a link to this awesome book title Go the Fuck to Sleep. I don't know of another book that echoes my sentiments right now. Every parent should have a copy and I am not sure if there is an exception to this rule.

Context context context

I have always loved this song! But like a lot of old things it got filed away in the recess of mind. The other day while watching my little monster sleep it came to mind and of course, I looked it up on you tube. The lyrics are meaningful. Again, although I had always appreciated the lyrics, I now appreciate every word and it makes so much more sense as I listen to it and watch my sleeping child.

If you told a child that Mr Moon came down to wish him/her goodnight they would believe it. When/why do we become so cynical that the idea of the moon wishing us goodnight becomes silly? And is it not true that if everyone thought like a child we would live in peace? Everyone should spend time with a child to learn a lesson or two, especially one of forgiveness. I am trying hard to function like my baby, but that darned ego keeps getting in the way.

The snow girl/woman

Hubby's first sculpture

We are experiencing one of those crazy mid-winter thaws. Well perhaps not quite mid winter but it is still too early for a serious thaw (its mid February for crying out loud, it's supposed to be the peak of winter). Regardless, what this allowed us to do was get out in the backyard with the offspring and make snow people. Hubby got started on one side on a practical snow person. I on the other hand was thrilled to not be wheezing like a dog (not sure if dogs wheeze) and got started on a giant snow person. I just kept piling snow on and making a little mountain which the offspring also seemed happy to help with. I really wasn't getting anywhere, especially since I had to make sure that my child was not eating the dirty snow or taking off his mittens or...you know, just being a mother while trying to sculpt this snow person (hardly sculpting, I just like saying it).

I finally asked Hubby if he would be kind enough to assist. So he came over to 'our side' and asked if it was a snow man or snow woman. My answer, 'of course it is a woman!" So he got started and soon my snow woman had a body and a head, her eyes were gorgeous screening stones, she had a beautiful carrot nose and a fantastic kidney bean smile. The next time I turned to look, she had breasts with nipples and all! Some might say it is perverse, but seeing as that is the only way we could differentiate gender on a snow person it made sense. Later on we added a pink IKEA bowl for a hat, and that would have done the trick too, but with the breasts there was no disputing this was indeed Mrs Valentine. You see I had no intention of inviting Mrs Frosty back, and since this girl was sculpted on the eve of Valentine's Day, I got creative with her name.

Mrs Valentine

I don't think our offspring cared much for his father's fabulous art work or the unfinished snow person on the 'other side' of the backyard. But what it did accomplish was some good old fashioned fun in the beautiful outdoors. Amazing what it can do for your energy levels and not to mention the mood altering effects. 

Conversations to remember

My two-year-old loves his music. He went from baby lullabies to Sesame Street songs and on to mainstream pop and soft rock. Don't get me wrong, we still love Sesame Street songs, to the point that Hubby and I find ourselves unable to be rid of the red monster's squeaky voice from our heads (doodli-dumpy-doodli-dumpy, doodli-dumpy day...). It's just that we now have variety. So the other day Bubb and I had a chat about what he wanted to watch/listen to on you tube. And it went something like this:

Bubb: Amma wee wee wee
Me   : You want wee wee wee
Bubb: Ya! No, mant woh woh woh
Me   : Do you want wee wee wee or woh woh woh
Bubb: wee wee wee, NO woh woh woh...I like waka waka
Me   : So what do you want? waka waka? wee wee wee? or woh woh woh?
Bubb: wee wee wee

And so we listened to wee wee wee.

And do you know who else likes wee wee wee?

Marcel! That's right, tell me this isn't some crazy bit of proof of the theory of evolution!!

Multicultural crap

It's my fourteen month-old's first multicultural day tomorrow! Whatever the hell that may mean. I hate the word 'multicultural', its the politically correct word for racism, at least in my opinion, at least where I currently live.

You see, I have a lousy sense of identity. Born in a beautiful country and forced to leave because of a fucked up civil war (which apparently is over), grew up in a country I learned to like and identify with until fate brought me right back to my country of birth. I was lost and a few years on found myself a place with a few good friends.

But then I was confronted with the whole "what am I going to do with myself...I don't want to be some old housewife dreaming of all the things I could have been, should have done..." So I left, this time to another continent altogether. I hated it at first, and then realised I fit right in. No one cared about the colour of my skin, my first language, religion or any of those things. I was me! I was a nerd, I was crazy, I was that person who called it as I saw it. And people were friends me with me for who I was. BUT, I struggled with the identity issue. I often asked myself who I really was!! As a matter of fact, I still do!

So when they call me from the daycare, when I am trying to get dinner ready after a nasty winter day, with a cranky infant and hungry husband, asking me to bring something or dress my son in something that relates to my tradition or culture, I wanted to ask the supervisor to get lost and hang up. But I didn't. I said I would have conjured up some costume if I had a girl, but seeing as I have a boy, I was not sure what to do. She then said, "oh don't worry love, its just that we told all the parents."

I spent the last hour or so thinking and Hubby and I decided our son will go and celebrate his citizenship. I don't want to hyphenate his citizenship. I want him to have a sense of belonging, develop a sense of identity and know true patriotism. I hope to learn from him. So tomorrow he will take with him his country flag. Go Canada Go!

A day out and another and another...

When we were expecting our baby, both Hubby and I were thrilled. We talked about all that we could do with "it". But we were not prepared for what an infant had to offer. It might pay to be a pessimist and expect a colicky, constipated, clingy baby. But then again it might take the fun out of being pregnant and all that dreaming you do of fun days while on maternity leave. My fun days includ ewalks to the mall in my efforts to keep the little fellow entertained. I tried walking in the park, but apparently he does not fancy watching birds and trees (I am guessing its all one big blur to him right now) instead he likes to watch people or anything that moves constantly and is filled with colour.

These walks have been very educational, to me ofcourse. I have never been much of a shopper. I still rely heavily on Hubby, Mom or whooever is willing to assist in buying clothes, I mean real clothes. I can handle my jeans and t-shirt shopping. But serious work, lady like clothes are an issue with me. The point of this is that almost all shops have signs about specials. At least three shops I have seen have signs that say "Only Today - 25% off" or whatever percentage off. But if everyday is "today" then I don't have to rush and buy the stuff. The other thing I am learning is that it is not too hard to take that credit card out and buy stuff. Like yesterday, when I bought myself a pair of shoes. It was thrilled. I walked out of the shop with the biggest grin, with a sleeping baby in the stroller. Why shouldn't I grin at everyone around me!! I can see why some people are addicted to shopping. All this is stuff I would never have learned without my baby boy.

He's sleeping right now. Not much time left, so I must down that cup of coffee and see if I can get some stuff done.

Change

People kept telling me that life will change with a baby. I expected it to, perhaps not to the extent that it has, but I did. What I did not expect was to see the changes in me, I am not referring to being fat or going bald but to who I am, the essence of my being, if I may call it that. I have a wise friend who constantly spoke of 'priorities', I must tell him that he was right. There are days when I have completely forgotten to pee, that's right, forgotten (or maybe those stretch receptors in my bladder died with child birth). Bottomline, life has changed. And its pretty much almost always about the baby.

What else has changed is the attitude of people. Its almost like my husband and I have earned our membership in this club that makes it alright to talk about other women's breasts and genitals and your own. They are not sexual organs anymore, they are "a portal of entry or exit (whichever you prefer) and organs of sustenance". We have been accepted by relatives who would not visit us for we live 30 bloody minutes away from them (that is a f@#*ing long drive for some), but now I am told, "let us know if you need anything, its just a thirty minute drive". Oh really! Sure, will do.

Being married, not living together or being in a long term relationship, but being married means you must have children. That seems to be universal. If you choose not to you are pretty much an outcast. We took our time with this baby, but the five years from marriage to the birth of this child was a constant barrage of "so, when are you guys have a kid". I bet there were speculations of my being a lesbian (what with a wardrobe that consisted of nothing but jeans and shirts) or my husband being homosexual. Ah well, we have proven that we are both fertile. As for our sexuality, well if the ignorant associate homosexuality to infertility, its really their problem.

I am sure life and people around us will keep changing as our baby grows...and so will I. Sitting here typing this means my son has decided he will leave me be for an hour (if I am lucky). Here's hoping he will let me keep up with this blog business.