Diary Doodles

Social suicide? Nah!

2012-02-08T09:05:00.000-08:00

I, like most people I know, got sucked into the whole Facebook and social media business. I connected with people I thought were gone for good from my life. It was great, for a while.

Last week I had a brief tryst with fate and while laid up in bed in pain, scratching myself and drowning in diuretics I realized that a lot of the noise in my head had to do with Facebook. I am not yet a total bitter old bitch, but I am getting there and some people's comments and their opinions were getting to me.

I contemplated culling my list; then I considered what my bosom bud has done, create an alternative profile for close friends, but it felt like too much of an effort. I thought about who it is I would miss if Facebook crashed one day, my list of friends boiled down to two people!!! Both of them write me, Skype with me on a regular basis. As for family, I couldn't lose them if I tried. So I deactivated my account. I am amazed at how much time I have and how quiet and settled my thoughts are.

I am the sort of person who cannot ignore or overlook other people's troubles. I take it to heart and then my brain processes it. I wake up in the middle of the night worrying about these people and they don't even know about it. So I decided to let it go. I am glad I did.

I have exchanged nice long emails with one of my friends since and have a Skype date for tonight with another. I also have plenty of time to get a lot of other things done. If I have committed social suicide by getting out of Facebook it just might be the best thing I ever did, for myself.

All a-Buzz

2012-01-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

It so happens I have another cake story. Not all that funny this time just a lot of pain. I didn't know piping was equivalent to lifting weights. When I set out to do this I thought to myself, "how hard can it be to squeeze some sugar and butter out of a plastic bag on to a cake?". Apparently a tad more difficult than I thought.

This was a Buzz Lightyear cake for my Offspring's third birthday. He explicitly said he wanted A "Buzz cake". He told half his little world he was having a Buzz cake. I was nervous about making it so I searched the internet for a cake maker. I am not too good at finding things on the internet but I did find a bakery that makes fancy Buzz cakes. The catch - it was in the United States (shipping might be an issue) and it cost no less than a few hundred dollars. I couldn't justify spending that much money on something he doesn't even particularly like to eat. So I embarked on a cake making adventure.

My friends have all been very kind and generous with their praises for my efforts to the point of me feeling a bit embarrassed because it was not that big a deal. Anyone can do it. Really, seriously!

I bought a shaped pan and then followed instructions and if you compare the picture on the website/pan cover to what I have done you can tell it was the work of someone just learning the ropes. The colors aren't a great match, the grey and green are a bit dark and the outlines very shaky. Here is a series of pictures on how I went about it.

I baked two cakes because I needed one for school and one for the party at home. One had more batter and the crust got a bit crunchy before it was cooked through, which is preferred by the boys. So I let that be. The second one was perfect.

The day after I baked the cakes I started work. I was very impatient with the sides, I have never been able to smooth the sides. I figured I could fix that later and got started on the face because I was on a timeline. This is not work that you can do with a three-year-old around. I had to get it done before he came home from school.

Setting out...

The eyes and mouth took me nearly half an hour, I was trying to be really perfect which is one of my pitfalls. I can be really hard on myself. But then I reminded myself that this cake was for the Offspring and even if the cake remotely looked like his hero he would be thrilled, so I moved on. I got the outlines done, but as I started to fill in the colors I had to keep patching the outlines.

The real challenge was working from a mirror image, which I had not given much thought to before I bought the pan. However, I did read the reviews on the website by other cake makers attempts which gave me a heads up on the issue and I went slow with the outlining and was careful before I started to fill in the colors.

Line and all the finicky bits are in.

Once I got all that done I was rather excited to start piping. I had never done any piping before so I practiced on a plate. I couldn't get it as pretty as in the picture, and again reminded myself that this was for my baby boy. I forged ahead.

Making progress

I made good progress. The upside to icing two cakes at one time is that the quantity called for in the instructions is adequate for two cakes. You can't pipe with a tiny bit of icing, so when you have a quarter or half a cup of icing you might as well do two cakes. Its just the muscles of your hand, forearm, arm and neck that might not appreciate it. That's a lot of muscles!

And we're done

After five hours and a very sore arm the cakes were done. I was pleased with it, but as I said, it was not that hard and it is far from perfect. This is not the work of a genius, but a mother desperate to make her baby boy's birthday as special as she could. I think it was a hit.

Such a flawed machine

2012-01-03T17:52:00.000-08:00

Since one of my goals this year is to put me first, I made it to my doctor's office today for a scheduled physical. We did the usual chatting and she took swaps and smears and whatever else she needed and then got talking to me about a recent blood test. It seems my body is attacking itself!

I find the human body absolutely amazing, I teach this stuff and I can get students to love it because I do, sincerely do. At the same time I am constantly reminded how terribly flawed it is. It is so messed up that we have built an enormous industry to prolong its life. But in the end it gives up, it does not last forever. So when she told me that it was an autoimmune condition I asked her what triggers it. No one really knows apparently. I have some theories. I doubt anyone will listen. It will make for a pretty good medical thriller.

It was kind of scary getting my medication at the pharmacist who said, "is this your first time?" I nodded yes. He then said, "well you will have to take this for the rest of your life, or at least until blood levels stabilize." I could tell he added the last bit to make me less anxious.

One thing is for certain now, I have no reason to let life pass me by, I simply have to live it, the way I want to!

Happy 2012?

2012-01-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

I have never been more glad to see the rear end of a year. 2011 has been challenging in so many ways and at so many levels. But, it is over and I am kind of glad for Facebook where friends and family have been posting very many happy thoughts and wishes for a better year. Here's hoping it is going to be a better year.

Of course I know a year just doesn't turn out to be crappy or great on its own. A lot of it is our doing, and I am determined to take charge of how things turn out. I also intend to do it in a manner that is reasonable to me and those who matter most to me. I do have certain goals I'd like to accomplish. Some I can speak of, others...well I am still figuring out what they are.

For now, my simple goals are:

1. Eat breakfast every morning within an hour of waking up;

2. Get at least six to eight hours of sleep every night;

3. To get through this winter with as few episodes of illnesses as possible;

4. To see my darling son completely potty trained, surely boys must grow out of being comfortable with fecal matter pasted to their bums (this is where I have to be easy on myself, this has less to do with me and more to do with the Offspring);

5. Put me first every now and then...

These are not resolutions. I gave up on them in my last year of high school. I am just going to try and do this because it is what I have to do to stay healthy and happy. It is what I want for everyone I love, which should begin with me, right?

Hoping the light shines even in the darkest hours...

So, happy new year to me and everyone I love. And to you too, whoever you are, reading this. I hope this is your year, do what makes you happy because if the Mayans are right, we will not have another year.

Blue

2011-11-24T08:37:00.000-08:00

I love Blue, just all shades of blue. Since I am pressed for time to play with words, I figured I would share with you some recent pictures of this handsome bird.

This is the most I have seen of these fellas in the autumn. A feeder is a great way to meet them while they are in transit. Sadly they have sent my smaller visitors flying. Blue jays are very territorial.

Exciting

2011-11-10T09:40:00.000-08:00

I have been obsessed with the malaria parasite for nearly a decade now. Not like a scientist in a laboratory would be, but it my own way. I kept up with the research, kept thinking it through, drawing my own diagrams and often wondering what I would do if I were the parasite. I have lots of respect for this bug. It is very clever. I say that for lack of a better word.

Now scientists are getting closer to finding a vaccine. It is very exciting that they have identified the receptors involved. After reading this I went looking for one of my first papers on malaria, written nearly eleven years ago (nerd, I know, I keep them all). I also kept it because I enjoyed writing it so much. The good thing about keeping old papers is that I get to revisit questions I was not able to answer back then, questions that come up when you do your literature reviews. Sometimes the papers are down right embarrassing.

What I had learned back then was that the four different types of malaria parasites seem to be attracted to red blood cells in various stages of development. P.falciparum, the most virulent of them all, invades red cells of all ages where as P.vivax and P.ovale prefer younger red cells and P.malariae seeks mature cells. So my question was to do with the difference in molecular structure of the red blood cells in its various stages of development. This article kind of gets at that. I am sure it is a matter of time before we learn enough to confer protection for those most at risk.

Sometimes it is just as exciting to be a spectator of science. I love it!

The last bunch

2011-11-08T17:45:00.000-08:00

I have put my garden to bed for another six months. I planted all of my bulbs, raked the leaves and mulched every bed. I like to tidy things up in the Fall so when my little surprises start to show in the Spring I can enjoy them without the rotting foliage all around. There's plenty to do in the Spring anyway. The garden is in for a major overhaul.

I also pruned my roses down quite harshly this time and covered them with just a mound of mulch. They didn't do to well. Caterpillars and every kind of bug got to them, my neighbour's giant tree casting more shade than we had four years ago could be partly to blame. Well, 2012 may bring a new kind of Summer and hopefully be kinder to my Golden Celebration.

The last of my favourite roses

Narcissus, more of them

2011-11-02T19:15:00.000-07:00

My very own in mid-Spring, 2011

Anyone who knows me and has been reading this blog will know that I love flowers. Much to my delight I recently discovered that my thumb is more green than black. Although this Summer was not so great for my garden, in general it fared well. I even had some luck with the bulbs I planted last year. So I got a bit bold and decided to buy a few more, well about fifty more, but in my defense I bought only daffodil bulbs. They are more resilient and squirrels are not likely to dig them up. They all went in today, on the second day of November with a maximum high of 18 degrees Celsius!

Glorious Narcissus - not my garden

I thoroughly enjoyed my time outdoors planting the bulbs, and got to thinking about how the flower got its name. And of course I searched the internet and found the story of Narcissus. I know my friend Prashani would know more and tell this hunter's story way better. The simple scientific explanation for the name exists, but I like the story of the narcissus being the first flower to spring from the place where this vain Greek hunter died. Much more exotic. Perhaps I like this story even more because the daffodils come up just when you feel like you might die from the cold and misery all around towards the end of winter. Even before the flowers bloom the tender shoots just barely out of the soil is a promise of sunny days and gentle summer breezes.

More of mine in our tiny backyard

Now I only have to wait six months before the daffodils come up.

So much for choice

2011-11-01T17:08:00.000-07:00

I've lost count of how often I've been told that I always have a choice. It does help to remind myself of that when I have to come to terms with a lousy situation I find myself in. Then again there are times when I feel 'choice' is one of my major issues these days. I am not philosophizing about life here, but speaking about choice of commercial products.

I miss the days when all I had to choose from was SR and Signal toothpaste. I liked the red and white stripes of Signal, but SR tasted better. I settled for the former because that was what we had at home and I vaguely remember a conversation about Signal being better. You just brushed your teeth and it was all good. When it came to soap, I think there was much more variety, but most people just bought Lux, including my family, because it was choice of beauty queens, or something like that. Now, if I said I use Sensodyne (because I am aging and brushed until my gums deteriorated, because I was told to back in the day when Signal was the big shot toothpaste) it would not be adequate. There are so many kinds of Sensodyne, and it is only one of a dozen brands, each with its own special kinds. The mind boggles.

The reason I am talking about this is because a while ago I was thoroughly frustrated shopping for some feminine hygiene product (that is what the aisle is labelled, the entire aisle dedicated to tampons and sanitary napkins). I had walked up and down the aisle for nearly half an hour, and that is no exaggeration. There was ultra thin, with wings, without wings, regular, overnight, maxi...my head hurt from trying to decide what I needed. It all ultimately boils down to what we need, right? Why then is it so bloody hard? And why would I, in my ripe-old age be there not knowing what I need?! Because, they keep changing packaging and labeling on me, those bloody morons. I just wanted to walk away, but how could I, I needed the product, but didn't know which one to buy. I could ask a friend, but her needs would be different from mine, which is why we have such an array, right?

Lets face it. I am very picky and particular. So if the manufacturers stayed consistent then life would be a wee bit easier. I did buy something and I did not like it one bit but used it anyway because there is no alternate use for it (or is there?). Now I have to go back and begin my monthly exercise routine walking up and down the aisle in my search for the next best sanitary napkin.

Oh the life of a consumerist in materialistic North America!

Yet another cake

2011-10-25T12:12:00.000-07:00

I figured I would bake the Hubby a cake, not that he cares much for a cake on his birthdays, but the Offspring's entire idea of a birthday is a cake. So much so that when I asked him to wish his father a happy birthday he rushed off, jumped on the bed, said, "happy birthday Appa, come lets get your happy birthday together." We showed him the banana bread in the kitchen that we baked a few days before. But there was no fooling this monkey. But he had to wait almost an entire day.

The cake itself was easy to make, but as usual has a story to go with it (as is the case with a lot of my cooking endevours). I decided to bake an angry bird cake since there was a brief time, when the the iPad had first entered the household, we'd lost Hubby to angry birds. I would even take the Offspring away to leave the man alone to get work done. Imagine my horror when I discovered that it was angry birds he was working on. It left me wondering how many angry wives there were because of these bloody angry birds. Fortunately it was a phase (I hope).

I did my homework, browsed the internet, tried sketching the bird and realized it would be easy once I got the outline on the cake. I also kept in mind some good advise from a dear friend who churns out one fantastic birthday cake after another for her three children. She makes me wish I was her daughters' age (I'd have to be ten and six) just to be at those parties. Anyways, I then got going feeling like I had done enough prep work. Alas that was not the case.

I could not find the no taste red icing colour. So I decided to use Christmas red instead. I know!!!

I had iced the eyes, beak and the neck. And I got to colouring the red, I used up two containers of the colouring and it still was not quite red, and it started to smell a wee bit like chlorine. I tasted it and nearly gagged. As I do with most things these days I rushed to the internet and the first thing you see on the Wilton icing products page is a warning about Christmas red and the nasty taste (not enough prep huh?). Now I had a tonne of red icing that could not be used and an hour and a half left on the clock to get it done.

I called the store to check if they had received any no taste red. Nope. I had to consider an alternative. A trip the grocery store was in order. On my way out a quick check in the mirror startled me, I had very red lips, so I checked my tongue. GOOD GOD! It was all red, so were my teeth. I decided I would just get my stuff, and use self-checkout and not talk (not easy for me to do). So I drove myself to the grocery store (which is within walking distance) to get some instant chocolate icing (I figured a brown bird could still be angry).

While I was on my knees muttering to myself a kind lady walked up and launched into a sales pitch for a credit card. I just kept shaking my head to say no. She was a little too persistent for my likes, so I did something I normally wouldn't do. I stuck my tongue out, and then said, "you see that, I am in trouble, on a deadline, leave me alone, please." The lady walked away very quickly and turned to take a look only when she had reached the end of the aisle. Fortunately no one else spoke to me. The rest was easy. I used the chocolate icing to finish the cake and hid it before the boys got home.

And that's another crazy cake story. I hope they don't all have a story that brings out the nutter in me.

Another day, another year older

2011-09-15T21:09:00.000-07:00

It has been many many many moons since I was born on this day. I am very fond of my place of birth. I would have none of the small town makeshift hospitals. So I caused enough trouble to have my parents drive me to a more sophisticated city. They had almost given up on me, but lo and behold, there I was. And here I am!

I have always believed I am here for a purpose, much grander than all that I am doing right now. I know now that I cannot change the world, not in the way I used to at least. I can't adopt every child who needs a family, I cannot put food in every hungry stomach, I cannot bring world peace. It is all I can do to hold on to what is left of my sanity, leave alone caring for the orphans of the world, appeasing world hunger or ending futile wars.

My concerns are piteous. I fear the cold weather ahead. I fear I will be all alone come December, and end up talking to myself, and the only means of communication would be through facebook updates and this blog. I am afraid that my life has come to mean nothing, to anyone. I know it is up to me to make a change. But how? I have no answers, worse still, I am not looking for any. I am doing what I have always done best when it comes to me, living in denial. I am going to Istanbul now with Orhan Pamuk. He writes well, he only just won the Nobel Prize for literature!

And Oh, almost forgot, happy birthday to me.

A call from Alex

2011-08-23T09:46:00.000-07:00

I am in the middle of writing a bloody long paper, the longest I have ever written in my relatively short life. It is all to do with grad school, that's a story for another time. Anyways, I am feeling terribly challenged and it has taken a toll on me and my family. So basically, working under a lot of stress. To add to all this, just two days ago my laptop turned green, well the screen did. Now I work with the laptop hooked up to the desktop monitor (like it is on life support or something). Just this morning I started to see flickering gray lines on the screen. So can you just imagine my stress levels? All of what I need, in terms of software is on this laptop. The dear old desktop is just that, old; and so is everything contained within. You get the point?

Well the phone rang as I was reading my intro for the umpteenth time...it was Alex from some technical support place. I picture Alex calling from Madagascar with a phony accent (not sure where the accent is supposed to be from), but only this Alex was claiming he was calling to help me. The Alex of Madagascar would be calling for help.

So I ask what it was about...because you see I am having technical issues with computers. Desperate ones. Alex claims that my computer has been sending him error messages for a couple of weeks now and 'malisius' (guessing malicious) files have been downloaded onto my computer and they will now corrupt all my data. He wanted me to turn on my computer and connect to the internet so he could help. Seeing as I am connected to the internet I ask him what kind of information he would need to help me. Believe me I knew this was a bogus call. Phishing is it?

I asked him how it is that he connected my phone number to my computer...apparently when I connect to the internet (which we are 24/7 through cable) information is internationally routed. I am no tech expert, but I am married to a geek and I know a word or two even if I don't know a thing or two. I also ask him the name of this company he is calling from. He mumbles something with that fake accent. God it pissed me off. I just didn't have the time for this piece of crap who was obviously calling under the assumption that he was speaking to a dumb fuck who would give him information he needed. Granted I am not the smartest freak to walk the planet, but I am not as dumb as these guys think I am. I know its not personal, but right now everything in my life is personal. I have a deadline.

Anyway, I finally give him a piece of my mind, profanities included and hang up. And he called me twice after that. I did not want to raise my blood pressure any more, so I turned up the volume on the radio (thank you Lady Gaga) and did not speak.

I am taking time out of work to post this because if any of you receive a call like this, tell the caller where to go and hang up. Hopefully if enough people to do it they will realize that they are not getting their hands on our personal information by getting into our computers.

My sentiments exactly

2011-06-17T09:02:00.000-07:00

I just saw a link to this awesome book title Go the Fuck to Sleep. I don't know of another book that echoes my sentiments right now. Every parent should have a copy and I am not sure if there is an exception to this rule.

The crocus question

2011-05-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

Last Autumn, Fall, whatever you want to call it was a difficult one. When I set out prepping my flower beds for the winter I found my price lily bulbs had been eaten by squirrels. The dratted animals had burrowed under the soil and eaten the bulbs while the foliage was still standing. I never thought that they could do that. I am not quite over the disappointment of losing my beautiful yellow lilies. Eventually I will, but not there yet.

Anyways, this is not my story of my lilies, but my crocus bulbs. I was very anxious after planting them because at least on a couple of occasions I noticed the darned squirrels going right to patch I had worked on as soon as I came inside the house. So the entire time I was planting I was looking over my shoulder. Rather sad, don't you think? Perhaps its funnier than it is sad.

Fortunately the bulbs had almost all survived the squirrels. I was thrilled to see the first of them come out. But here's what I can't find an answer to - while all the bulbs bloomed purple, just a few turned out striped and only on the one bed. It was not a mix of the striped and purple ones all over the garden. How does that happen? Does the colour of the bloom depend on soil pH, amount of sunlight, or the other bulbs in the same bed?

I have been wondering about this because the gladioli bulbs I put in one year expecting a mix of vibrant colours all turned out yellow. I learned, thankfully before I blamed the vendor, that soil pH is a huge determinant of the colour of the bloom.

It will be interesting to see how the crocuses turn out next year!

My Summer love

2011-05-20T12:42:00.000-07:00

I met this beauty a few years ago. She was behind a house we were inspecting to buy. I really didn't like the house, but Hubby was sold. I knew there was no convincing him otherwise.

This Tree, she drew me in the way only a few other trees have in my lifetime. She's a Pear Tree. I didn't know that at the time. She was just standing there with beautiful drooping branches; a light dusting of snow on her elegant body; she looked simply ravishing. I figured even if I never grew to like the house I could at least look out the large windows and drift away with this tree. I also resolved to sketch her when we'd moved in (sadly it is something I have not found the time to do yet).

I have to admit she has never disappointed me. As the snow melted and the rain came, her dark branches stood out against the more feeble shrubs and trees. She stood there, majestic and filled the promise of green. But what a pleasant surprise it was when she burst into blossoms, all white with a touch of pink, so subtle you had to feel it. And when the breeze kissed her branches she would laugh her petals all over me. I was falling in love.

Soon bright green leaves took the place of the blossoms. The colour of peace, serenity and warm weather that holds you in an embrace so gentle and firm. I was in love!

Yet again she surprised me with all the fruit she bore. Pears galore! Her beautiful branches were now garlands of fruit. All the pictures in the world cannot do justice to what you feel at her sight. I was not surprised that she was never without visitors.

The Oriole would stop by often for a meal or a snack.
Mrs Racoon was there with her young ones.
The squirrels are almost always there.
And then there were the cardinals, the jays, the sparrows and chickadees and finches and blackbirds...She was never alone. The rare moments I had her all to myself were something special.

And as the warm weather began to recede and the cold Autumn winds set in her leaves turned to gold. She didn't look all that pretty with bare patches and bits of dying leave. It pained me to see her go. But she was there in spirit to remind me of warm weather to come and our secret Summer trysts.

She's back now looking like a young bride ready to walk down the aisle. So I may not spend as much time here as I will with my dear Pear Tree, my Summer love!

Pink and blue

2011-05-16T14:00:00.000-07:00

It has been challenging to channel my thoughts into words lately. So here are a few pictures of my garden mid-Spring.

The pink tulips, the darker pink flanking the double petal ones are a total surprise. Last year I bought one of those ready made planters with the tulips just before the end of the season because they were ridiculously cheap. I decided to experiment with them. I took them out of the pot after the leaves had yellowed and stored the tulips in a shoe box over the Summer and planted them in the Fall, mixed in with a some bone meal. From what I had read the bulbs that are forced (like the ones in pots) usually don't flower the first year. Hence the surprise.

And the bleeding hearts - I prefer to refer to them by their botanical name, Dicentra spectabilis - simply because flowers should not have names as tragic as bleeding hearts. I believe flowers mend bleeding or broken hearts. Anyways, the point here is that my garden is all pink and blue thanks to the hardy perennials and bulbs that survived the squirrels.

It's all garbage

2011-04-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

The city of Toronto has a seemingly efficient waste disposal program. We have three bins: a green bin for biodegradable waste. Often I see signs that say, "if you can eat, so can I", which, I am assuming is meant to encourage people to dispose of their waste responsibly; a recycling bin, for...well recycling; and a garbage bin for all other waste. Green bins are collected weekly and the recycling and garbage, fortnightly.

I was one of those people that was super excited when the new garbage bin program came into being. Mainly because you actually received a tiny incentive for recycling and disposing of your waste responsibly. I can't think of a better word than responsible because we have an obligation to at least dispose our crap with some sensitivity to the fact that we aren't the only species inhabiting this planet. Well, this incentive I speak of is basically a credit on your solid waste disposal bill (yep, we pay a separate bill to get rid of our crap. Someone has to pay the United States for allowing Canada to dump its garbage there). You receive this credit/refund if you order the smallest garbage bin. I figured that this meant people will now dispose waste very mindfully. We ordered the smallest bin because we only ever had one garbage bag even before the program came into effect and I talked no end about it hoping to see tiny bins up and down the street.

The new bins have been in place for a year or so now and what I find is that with the exception of our bachelor neighbour (who does not have a green bin), the rest of the folks on our street have gigantic gray garbage bins. So basically, they are still throwing out a ridiculous amount of stuff, a lot what can either be recycled or composted. They also don't care for the tiny incentive.

And today I saw the waste collection guy throw in garbage and recycling into the same truck!!! I guess it doesn't help that the bins are gray and blue and what's worse collectors are almost always male and they could use a few more cone cells in their retina to help discriminate the gray from blue. I really am not sure why the area we were driving through had both bins out and why they were both being collected by the same truck. I guess for most people it is all just garbage. And that I think is very very sad.

Salix discolor (The pussy willow)

2011-04-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

I love trees and I may have said that on more than one occasion here. But the fact is I do and I can't understand people who cannot stop and admire a beautiful tree. If you listen real careful you will also hear them speak to you. Trust me, you just have to shut up and stop snickering at names like pussy willow, and then you will hear them. And you will learn that there is more substance to what they have to say than all the humans you know.

The pussy willow in mid-March

The Salix discolor or more commonly known as the American pussy willow is in my neighbours backyard and I mean to take pictures of this tree every Spring but never get around to it. When you see signs of buds on this tree you know it is warming up and we will not be stuck in the deep freeze for long. I am not sure if it is the new camera or the fact that I have had little to do in the last few months than I usually do, but I got out and took some pictures.

A few weeks later I wanted to get some close up shots of the blossoms and was pleasantly surprised by the bees who were busy at work.

I must say I am quite pleased with the pictures for a first attempt at bugs, not to mention the sore neck.

And it seems there is more to this tree than I thought. According to Wikipedia the pussy willow is used in cultural and religious festivities that are common around this time of year. I think I like this tree even more now.

And so the garden grows...

2011-04-18T11:16:00.000-07:00

The first blooms of the season

It looks like the squirrels didn't devour all my crocus and grape hyacinth bulbs. They are pushing through the soil and mulch. But what seems to be a bit of a pain is this constant show of snow. Fortunately the ground seems to have warmed up enough that the snow doesn't accumulate. But after the dismal Winter I am starting to feel a bit concerned that we might have a chilly Summer too. It is really important the my garden does well this year. Things are not as great as they were when I was thankful for everything in life and the one thing that does cheer me up is the show of colour in the backyard.

Hubby was let go from his job with very little notice three weeks ago. We are creeping up to four weeks now and needless to say we are both getting a little concerned. While life has certainly not been a bed of roses, or crocuses for that matter, it is a little unsettling as we assess spending and make adjustments. This experience is teaching us a few things. But most of all it has taught me that people are not all who they seem to be. I am learning that a reassessment of the people in my life is in order!

But this has not stopped me from digging the mulch out to allow my bulbs to get out of the deep cold. Neither have I put my camera away. Today I took out my old pal Nikon F50's lens and tried a few pictures with the new Nikon D7000. I don't need a new macro lens. I love my old lens on the new guy. They work well together. Also, you can't always trust the 'correct exposure' reading you get on the new guy. You have to shoot and learn.

auto exposure manual exposure

Context context context

2011-04-09T18:51:00.000-07:00

I have always loved this song! But like a lot of old things it got filed away in the recess of mind. The other day while watching my little monster sleep it came to mind and of course, I looked it up on you tube. The lyrics are meaningful. Again, although I had always appreciated the lyrics, I now appreciate every word and it makes so much more sense as I listen to it and watch my sleeping child.

If you told a child that Mr Moon came down to wish him/her goodnight they would believe it. When/why do we become so cynical that the idea of the moon wishing us goodnight becomes silly? And is it not true that if everyone thought like a child we would live in peace? Everyone should spend time with a child to learn a lesson or two, especially one of forgiveness. I am trying hard to function like my baby, but that darned ego keeps getting in the way.

Turtle talk

2011-03-28T06:14:00.000-07:00

It has been a rough couple of days. But the offspring provided us with ample distractions with his ever increasing vocabulary and new skills. We reckon he is an old soul who has so much packed in his little head including a radar that picks up on our moods and emotions. He was not as difficult as he usually is on the weekends, and this is despite us being cooped up at home.

Anyways, on a lighter note, Hubby and I have been tidying up the basement (it seriously does not reflect the person that I am right now and it is driving me nuts), and are in the process getting rid of a lot of things. You see I am the one in this relationship who has moved forever and forever, so I don't come with a lot of knickknacks. Hubby on the other hand had tonnes of it. We have slowly been getting rid ornaments that are difficult to clean. If something cannot be dusted easily I don't think it is worth having.

Having said that there are some things he has that are rather cute, like this pair of turtles. They are a bit worn out from being dropped and scraped and stored in boxes etc. But I have kept them because they illustrate our relationship rather well. Can you tell who might be sitting up and yakking nineteen to a dozen and who might be lounging and listening, or at least politely pretending to?

Heavy weight blessings

2011-03-23T07:38:00.000-07:00

Store bought indoor crocus

Yesterday as I pulled into our driveway I notice the mulch on my teeny flowerbed in the front of the house looked like it had been disturbed. So I knelt down to check and guess what? It was Little Miss Crocus peeping out of the dark and into the light!! But today it is all buried under snow!

I want to bitch and moan about the weather. We can't go from 5 degrees to -13. Come on, it is supposed to be Spring, enough already. But you know what, sitting here typing this up and looking out the window just reminds me it is time to weigh my blessings. So here we go:
   I have a warm and safe home to complain about the weather
   My loved ones are all safe and healthy
   There is food in the house
   I have a job that pays (not as much as I'd like, but it pays)
   I don't have to worry about nuclear radiation
   I still have all those pretty flowers to look forward to
   There is promise of warm days ahead and plenty of sunshine
   And my brand new steam mop arrived yesterday (what more could a girl ask for?)
Those are mighty heavy blessings. And on that note, let me go seize the day, and you have a good one too!

Back and forth

2011-03-20T15:12:00.000-07:00

Have you seen this video?

To me the news of late sounds a bit like Grover. Look at Japan, now back at Libya, back at Japan, now back at Gaddafi...

I want to retreat into my fictitious world where there is peace and everyone love's everybody else. It is proving a lot harder today than usual.

Japan versus Haiti

2011-03-18T09:39:00.000-07:00

Besides the news on raising nuclear alert levels following the earthquake and tsunami in Japan last week, the other bit of news that seems to be taking center stage is how Japan is receiving far less in aids/funds compared to Haiti. Really now people! How naive do you have to be to be comparing the two nations? Haiti is the consequence of exploitative neo-liberal bullshit propagated by industrialized nations working to increase profit margins. Japan is the epitome of self reliance and sustainability. It is considered a future super power.

What also has been bothering me is the fact that around 3,500 people are dead from cholera in Haiti. I distinctly remember reading that cholera was spread by UN relief workers who arrived in Haiti from Nepal following the earthquake in Port-au-Prince. But I can't seem to locate the article now. The forecast for Haiti is grim. Researchers are predicting a death toll as high as 10,000 by November this year. The numbers are ironically similar to what is coming out of Japan.

One of the things that always upset me during days as a news person was how news is all about viewer/readership. News organisations are corporations too. News of nuclear radiation (and threats of it reaching as far as the US West Coast) will help hike the price of air time/page space way more than news of damage and destruction from the tsunami. Death tolls and damage is already 'old' news. In a world like this what chance does a country like Haiti stand?

I am not belittling what has happened in Japan. In fact I want to know how the relief/rescue efforts are going? I want to know more about how people can contact their loved ones in the afflicted parts. How are the people faring? Is nuclear radiation the only threat? Are they safe from the cold weather that has hit Japan?

All of this also makes me wonder if it is because the audience, which is you and me, want this kind of sensational, depressing news. Would we listen/read more if the news was more positive? This whole Haiti/Japan business has been bothering me for a few days now. I don't feel better for having gotten it off my chest. But writing about it will probably help me get through the rest of the day. I will be back to pondering this later today much to the annoyance of my Hubby.

We're almost there

2011-03-16T06:58:00.000-07:00

Spring is almost here folks! I am not basing this on calendars, the groundhog or the weather person. My most reliable source, the American Robin, arrived two days ago. At first I thought it might be the random one that had come back, but I have seen them two days in a row and now I hear them singing.

American Robin

I made a few lame attempt at using my new 300mm to record the arrival of the first of my migratory feathered friends. I might have to lift weights to steady the arm if I want to keep using this lens!

Resident Mrs Cardinal

For my visitor

2011-03-15T08:07:00.000-07:00

I know there is someone from Japan who visits my blog regularly. This one's for you.

I don't know how you have been affected by the earthquake, tsunami and now the nuclear reactor explosions. You can't live in Japan or anywhere in the world for that matter and not be affected by a disaster such as this. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the enormity of what has happened. It all seems so unreal. All that is lost can be rebuilt, all that has been washed away is just the material. What really forces me into denial is the loss of lives. I can relate to that. I am truly sorry for your loss.

I hope you take a little comfort in knowing that I am praying for everyone's safety. I am praying, confident that the Land of the Rising Sun will shine again.

Cricket - an acquired taste

2011-03-09T07:31:00.000-08:00

Gartmore Estate, Maskeliya, Sri Lanka

Cricket has always been a part of my life, just like black tea. While I have grown to appreciate tea for its flavour, scent and taste, I can’t say I feel the same way about cricket. But the world cup this year has me feeling all nostalgic. I miss the excitement of a whole nation going bonkers about a game that takes an entire day from start to finish. I kind of prefer the thrill of rugby and soccer where you get to see more action in a shorter span of time.

But this year there is a lot of cricket talk going on in the world of social networking which, as far as I am concerned is limited to facebook. And all this cricket talk has me following the matches. All my cricket crazy cousins, new friends and old ones are commenting on teams and players and every now then talking about lousy rain forcing players off the field. I just bookmarked the ICC World Cup website. I can’t help it.

That'll do for a pitch

For people who know me well this may sound funny because there was a time when you had to pay me to follow a match, literally. I would only ever do it for money and even then I never got it right. I never understood when a match was won by runs and when it was won by wickets. But I get it now, all these years later and when it really doesn’t matter whether I follow a match or not. Sounds like I have acquired a taste for it after all.

The next generation of cricketers

Topsy turvy

2011-03-08T07:08:00.000-08:00

Humans have caused damage of every kind to this planet and to every species that lives on it including ourselves. We are terrible at living in harmony with the environment. I think about this all the time, but seeing news of a tiger killing a lion really made me want to say it out loud.

In the wild I am quite sure a lion would beat a tiger or kill it in a fight. I am not exactly sure if it would let a wounded tiger go. I am also not sure if these cats eat one another's kill. What I mean by that is would a lion eat a tiger? Must go off and find out.

But this story is about a tiger getting through a break in the fence and killing a lion in the next pen in a Turkish zoo. Apparently it went for the lion's jugular! What would make a tiger want to do that? Would it be the frustration of being caged? I want to know more about how these cats interacted before the killing. I am sure some folks are thinking, "yeah right, whatever woman, get a life. There are bigger issues to worry about." But I think when species that only kill for food or mates (and perhaps a pride in the case of lions) just randomly kills another we must be concerned. It has something to do with what we are doing as humans.

I have always loved visiting zoos. But I have lost interest lately. The older I get the harder it is for me to see animals caged. Zoos do have their place on this planet, they help rehabilitate, protect endangered species, etc. But even that doesn't seem necessary. If an animal is endangered there is a reason behind it. If dinosaurs existed today the planet would be a very different place. All this protecting of species I am sure has someone (frightfully crazy) thinking about how humans could be 'protected' beyond all odds, to come back and wreak havoc over and over again!

Delicious, Divine, Dreamy

2011-03-03T12:48:00.000-08:00

Some books you read, put aside, and never give it a second thought. Others you read and remember parts of it. And then there are some books you read and will remember for life. This is one of those books. Elizabeth Gilbert does a fastastic job of taking you along on her amazing journey through a tumultuous couple of years. The movie does the book no justice, so I recommend you do not watch it. But the book goes from delicious to divine and absolutely dreamy.

The book is divided into 108 sections for reasons the author explains. And if you really want to do justice to her work and her journey, you ought to take 108 days to read it. Read one section a day, experience it with her.

In the first third of her book you will want to indulge in yummy desserts.Of course you can't go to Italy, but you could go over to the closest pasty shop for some tiramisu. I did! (And then some sushi, just to mix it up a little).

When I got to India with Gilbert I wanted to try meditating. Try it! If you've never tried it before you will learn how difficult it is to not think about anything. When you begin to think about how much you are thinking, then you can work on not thinking. Does that make sense? Gilbert explains it a lot better than I ever can.

And the final section of her time in Bali is so honest and so beautiful. It is just inspiring to learn that when you work on the changes you want in life it will come to you. I can't exactly take a year off to go around the world right now, and there really is no need for that. But that does not mean I don't want to. Regardless, I can't imagine anyone reading this book, man or woman, will find it difficult to relate to. There is something in it for everyone.

Feline felons

2011-03-01T10:58:00.000-08:00

I love cats. Always have. As a child I have smuggled strays into the house and tried to talk my parents into letting me keep them. But right now there is no room for cats in my life. It has little to do with my offspring and more to do with my passion for birdwatching. I live in a place that has great potential for watching and learning about birds. So when I see three big cats like this just lounging on the fence I worry.

I also have not seen birds in my backyard for sometime now. I put it down to not feeding the birds regularly and the nasty weather. But now I am worried that these fellows have been devouring them. I also have never seen this many cats in the neighbourhood in the years I have lived here. Since our house backs onto a conservation area I am now wondering if there is someway I can get rid of the cats. Perhaps some 'cat haven' place could take them? Should cats in Canada have collars?

Spring is almost here and unless these cats leave I cannot invite the birds. My feeder will turn out to be a death trap.

Best ever banana bread

2011-02-28T06:32:00.000-08:00

Have you ever noticed how for some people cooking and baking seems to come so naturally? I am not one of them. Whether it be cooking or baking it has always been a challenge and required enormous effort to get it right. Maybe not so much effort as concentrating on the cooking rather than analysing the last book or paper I read. I am sure if someone chose to run MRI scans on chefs versus people like me they would find that our brains are wired very differently.

Be that as it may I managed to bake the best ever banana (walnut) bread. I am not calling the bread I baked the best ever. That is the name on the recipe. It was given to us by the wife of one of Hubby's former colleagues. They are a lovely couple, much older and wiser than the two of us and this obviously is some kind of tried and tested family recipe. If there is one thing I am learning with taking up cooking (out of necessity more than anything else) people don't share recipes. I on the other hand would be thrilled to share a recipe that turned out great. This may be yet another thing to do with the whole cortical layout, wiring etc. What was also amazing is that I shared a piece of my first attempt with the couple and they actually took the time to call me back and tell me what I may have done wrong. That really helped.

It only took me four tries to get this cake right. Don't laugh, you don't know how many times I've set food on fire and completely abandoned recipes altogether for the sake of safety. Now, I can do this without reading every step of the recipe each time I bake it. It is coming (almost) naturally to me.

Breast milk ice cream? Really!

2011-02-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

Would you eat it?

I understand all milk is "breast" milk, but we are talking about human milk here. Farming women for milk is not really an option is it? So should we squander it on ice cream?

I am not one to judge people on how they go about earning some extra cash. But when there are children whose entire survival depends on someone donating breast milk, this kind of enterprise disturbs me. Premature infants and babies of very low birth weight need breast milk and there is a lot of data showing why synthetic supplements just won't do what breast milk can to help these babies pull through. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that their entire survival depends on their mothers or donors making human milk available. Donor milk becomes extremely important when birth mothers are unable to produce adequate milk for infants who are not able to suckle yet.

Perhaps if the health care industry paid women to donate milk we might be able to build a larger bank of donor milk for babies in need rather than indulgent adults.

Colour and light

2011-02-23T10:11:00.000-08:00

I have been spending some time with my new friend Mr Nikon D7000. He's okay for the most part. Although I think we need to invest in a couple more lenses (uh oh!). I played around with a bunch of tulips to explore how I can work with natural light on this camera, especially shooting against the light, something I love to do.

It is so different from a SLR. I find that I really can't use natural light the way I used to with my old friend Mr Nikon F50. Maybe it's me. I probably have to get to know my new friend better. Anyways, here's the consequence of a few stolen moments we spent together with the beautiful red tulips.

The snow girl/woman

2011-02-15T10:52:00.000-08:00

Hubby's first sculpture

We are experiencing one of those crazy mid-winter thaws. Well perhaps not quite mid winter but it is still too early for a serious thaw (its mid February for crying out loud, it's supposed to be the peak of winter). Regardless, what this allowed us to do was get out in the backyard with the offspring and make snow people. Hubby got started on one side on a practical snow person. I on the other hand was thrilled to not be wheezing like a dog (not sure if dogs wheeze) and got started on a giant snow person. I just kept piling snow on and making a little mountain which the offspring also seemed happy to help with. I really wasn't getting anywhere, especially since I had to make sure that my child was not eating the dirty snow or taking off his mittens or...you know, just being a mother while trying to sculpt this snow person (hardly sculpting, I just like saying it).

I finally asked Hubby if he would be kind enough to assist. So he came over to 'our side' and asked if it was a snow man or snow woman. My answer, 'of course it is a woman!" So he got started and soon my snow woman had a body and a head, her eyes were gorgeous screening stones, she had a beautiful carrot nose and a fantastic kidney bean smile. The next time I turned to look, she had breasts with nipples and all! Some might say it is perverse, but seeing as that is the only way we could differentiate gender on a snow person it made sense. Later on we added a pink IKEA bowl for a hat, and that would have done the trick too, but with the breasts there was no disputing this was indeed Mrs Valentine. You see I had no intention of inviting Mrs Frosty back, and since this girl was sculpted on the eve of Valentine's Day, I got creative with her name.

Mrs Valentine

I don't think our offspring cared much for his father's fabulous art work or the unfinished snow person on the 'other side' of the backyard. But what it did accomplish was some good old fashioned fun in the beautiful outdoors. Amazing what it can do for your energy levels and not to mention the mood altering effects.

Conversations to remember

2011-02-11T05:49:00.000-08:00

My two-year-old loves his music. He went from baby lullabies to Sesame Street songs and on to mainstream pop and soft rock. Don't get me wrong, we still love Sesame Street songs, to the point that Hubby and I find ourselves unable to be rid of the red monster's squeaky voice from our heads (doodli-dumpy-doodli-dumpy, doodli-dumpy day...). It's just that we now have variety. So the other day Bubb and I had a chat about what he wanted to watch/listen to on you tube. And it went something like this:

Bubb: Amma wee wee wee
Me : You want wee wee wee
Bubb: Ya! No, mant woh woh woh
Me : Do you want wee wee wee or woh woh woh
Bubb: wee wee wee, NO woh woh woh...I like waka waka
Me : So what do you want? waka waka? wee wee wee? or woh woh woh?
Bubb: wee wee wee

And so we listened to wee wee wee.

And do you know who else likes wee wee wee?

Marcel! That's right, tell me this isn't some crazy bit of proof of the theory of evolution!!

The faraway blogs

2011-02-08T05:26:00.000-08:00

Have you heard of the Magic Faraway Tree? If you have, then you must be a kindred spirit. The Tree featured in two of Enid Blyton's awesome books, my all time favourite children's author (there is a serious contender for the position now though). What got me thinking of the book is that recently I have gotten to clicking on the "next blog" thingy (link?) on my blog. I find that each day it takes me to a new blog. Each day I get to visit new people, new places, new information, just a surprise every day! I love it!

That was the wonder of the Faraway Tree, it took you places when you got to the top most branch and climbed up through the hole in the clouds. Each day there was a land of some sort that arrived (sometimes they stuck around for a bit). Sometimes they were wonderful, full of treats and funny tricks and carnivals. Other times they were not so great, like 'Topsy Turvy Land'. If you were not careful to get out of the land before it left the top of the tree you could get whisked away with it and have to wait a really long time to get back to the Tree.

After I had read the book as a child I had always imagined myself in a land I preferred to the land I was in. I guess I do that even now...escape in to some one else's world for just a while, so this land of mine is as much a surprise and wonder as their's when I return.

Icicles on the cake

2011-02-07T07:12:00.000-08:00

It has been a long, miserable winter. At least for me. The whole family has been ill with one thing or another since October, the heating has had to be turned on much earlier (and it runs continuously), and now we have icicles!

Icicles on the porch!!!

They are beautiful. I have always found them marveled at them and snapped my share of pictures and enjoyed watching the play of light (on the odd occasion you see icicles when the sun is out) on them, etc. But now they are hanging off my porch, and suddenly they look like killer weapons rather than beautifully frozen water.

I just Googled (like we do with everything these days) why this happens and apparently the roof needs to be insulated and vented properly. We were told by the house inspector we needed more insulation, but we thought we had enough venting. I am beginning to wonder if the unwelcome tenants in the attic are clogging things up. In addition to that our neighbour, who we really have no problems with whatsoever, never cleans his gutter (that might considered a problem). While Hubby has graciously cleaned it in the past, I think we have had enough and it looks like the gutters have got clogged up after the Fall clean up. One of us must attempt a diplomatic chat with the chap. It is so much easier to casually mention it over a beer in the Summer. Winters make everything so much more difficult.

Sand cherry bush directly below the eaves trough

The first big step...

2011-02-04T17:22:00.000-08:00

I don't consider myself much of a photographer, but I have played with cameras since I was, perhaps ten-years old. My first BIG purchase was an Nikon SLR. The decision to go Nikon when the world swore by Canon was because it was all I could afford back then. I still have my trusty old friend. Never giving him up!

Just recently I gave into Hubby's desire to buy a DSLR. We got ourselves a Nikon D7000. I made an informed decision to go with Nikon this time. For what I want to do with a camera I prefer a Nikon. Sometimes I think Canon just is way overrated and they do have way more advertisements than Nikon. I must say I kind of like my new friend, mostly because I can take pictures and delete and not have to pay for processing. But for someone who has used an SLR extensively, I have to say it will take more than one digital camera to accomplish what my old pal could do, single handedly!!

One of my first attempts with the new friend.

Unbelievable!

2011-01-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

Every time I hear grand claims about technological innovations outdoing the forces of nature I am concerned. I have to admit I have not seen anything like this footage from Brisbane of the floods. It is very humbling and I sincerely hope we can act with more respect for the world we live in. But right now my concerns are for very dear friends who live in Brisbane that I have not heard from. I will be really glad if all they lose in these floods is just a car or even their house.

The monster cake

2011-01-10T07:43:00.000-08:00

I happen to be the sort of person to whom things just happen. Quite often it's just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Other times I just do things that makes people go, "why?"

So for me to undertake a challenging cake making project was a big deal. I was inspired by a fantastic mother and dear friend who keeps churning out the most creative cakes (and certainly must be delicious, but I have not had the good fortune of tasting any of them, being half a world away from her and all). When I let her know I was contemplating following in her footsteps she was very helpful and sent some excellent tips (thank God for that). As you will see all the advice in the world doesn't help me with some things.

Over a period of one month I bought the pan, the icing paraphernalia and read over and over again about how I ought to go about it. It took three attempts to get the cake right, just the cake - plain old butter cake. In my defense it was not so much the batter as it was getting the right amount of batter into the pan to get the shape right etc to ensure it doesn't fall apart when I flipped it. So that was done in time for the birthday.

Now for the icing - oh joy! I made the butter icing, that was no problem and tinting the icing was lots of fun. I put some music on and started to tint the icing. It reminded me how much fun painting and colouring can be. I did the black, orange and set aside some white. Then I got to the red. You see, while I did the other colors I took out a small amount and did up just enough to fill in areas. But, when I started on the red I tinted all of the remaining icing, which was nearly two cups of icing!! I don't know why I did! I don't know why I didn't think of the fact that it was too much. It was on my second trip to the shops to buy out all of the "no taste" red icing colour they had that it dawned on me that I ought to halve the amount of icing and colour only what I need!!! Now this is what I meant by, I just do stuff that is crazy and silly and not to mention just plain stupid. Eventually I got all the colors right and the icing began.

And it turned out to be a hit with my two-year-old.

Now all I have to do is find someone who can use the ridiculous amount of coloured icing, some an ugly pink-red and another lot of beautiful red that is taking up space in my fridge. Any takers?

2011...blogging prospects

2011-01-08T17:01:00.000-08:00

I intended to post at least once a month in 2010, but it never happened. Although I have 19 posts in total it really doesn't count. So I have to just see how I go this year. I am sort of bracing myself for a lot this year, but it should be bearable with friends visiting from afar and hopefully my crocus bulbs bringing the first burst of colour (if the darned squirrels haven't already go to them).

I should have more to come in the next week, there is at least one story that is worth sharing with kindred spirits, but I may just crash on the couch rather than write at a computer. Hmmm...

Here's wishing anyone who stops by a beautiful year blessed with good health and happiness. It's what we really need to have everything else fall into place.

And off they'll go!

2010-09-27T13:18:00.000-07:00

It seems like Mrs MD has increased her reproductive fitness having successfully hatched two broods and her second batch of offspring will soon be off. I am so glad for her and thankful that she provided our offspring with some entertainment.

Mrs MD's second batch of babies.
You can tell by the colour of the leaves that summer left us a while ago.

Mrs MD

2010-09-12T16:34:00.000-07:00

You might remember the post about the mourning dove that picked the tree in our front yard to nest this year. She had two chicks and then she was gone. Or so I was told. I was away for a month and couldn't stalk her like I had been doing since she showed up.

Mrs MD with her chicks, they look rather scary

When I returned my neighbour mentioned she was back and calling for her chicks. I knew she was not that stupid. And guess what? She is nesting again!! The best part about it that our toddler is learning to quietly watch her every day and says, "hi biddie."

I hope "biddie" gets her chicks out of the eggs and is off in good time. It is getting a bit chilly now.

Finally fallen

2010-08-24T13:55:00.000-07:00

Anne Frank's tree has finally fallen. It is sad. I remember the many trees that I absolutely loved and had to be cut down because they were 'sick'. I am not so sad about the tree falling, everything has its time. Its sad that it has made news. It is only news because Anne was killed in a concentration camp at age 15. She didn't just die at the camp.

A garden for all seasons

2010-06-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

Not everyone is born a gardener. But I am testimony to the fact that everyone can become one. What with information on just about anything on google, its easy to learn to garden no matter where on the planet you are now. You just need access to the internet and of course the material. Anyways, I wanted flowers early to lighten the misery of early Spring with the snow having disappeared and time left for warm winds to nudge the flora on.

So I planted some daffodils in a bed with a giant hosta. The good things about daffodils is that they do well in sun or shade. So this is what my 'hosta' bed looked like early Spring.

The flowers were a bit of a dissapointment because I thought I had picked lots of different shades and types of daffodils. Apparently not! But you can't help but be pleased and feel all happy when you see these pretty flowers. So simple, so elegant and fragrant too.

After putting on a beautiful show for us they went their way. And in their place I now have giant hostas. I am not sure exactly what this particular hosta is called, but we love it. They are bright green with the most beautiful leaves. You'd never even know the daffodils were there.

Aren't they regal?

Yay for Mrs Mourning Dove!

2010-06-24T08:29:00.001-07:00

Why they are called mourning doves beats me. I love these quiet birds. It is always nice to see them in the yard. They are not pesky like the red-winged black birds or the grackle for that matter. Anyways, my neighbour pointed out a nest Mrs MD had built right in front of our house. She was nesting in a really low branch and seemed quite content when I saw her two days ago and took this picture.

Since then I have checked on her everyday to make sure she was there and hadn't abandoned her babies-to-be. Yesterday I was really concerned for her when the weather guys forecast gale force winds and tornadoes. We had also experienced a teeny bit of seismic activity earlier in the day. So naturally, me being me, was super concerned. When heavy rain woke me up at 4:00 am I actually though of her before I thought of my son sleeping in his room.

Well, she seems to be doing fine and sit sitting pretty. Keep your fingers and toes and whatever else crossed for my Mrs MD.

Paella

2010-06-09T06:35:00.000-07:00

I love saying it - paella! The first time I cooked it was when we had asked our neighbours over for dinner and I had no clue what to do. My trusty old friend who always pulled off a fabulous dinner suggested paella. She rattled off a recipe, but she gave me no quantity. So I Googled the recipe and improvised as I went on. Improvisation is my problem when it comes to cooking. Anyhow, we ended up with enough paella to feed the neighbourhood. And it didn't taste that good either. Thank God for wine they ate politely and left.

Yesterday I cooked a vegetarian paella from an Australian Women's Weekly cookbook a friend gave me some time ago and it turned out just like in the book!! How often does that happen? Well not too often in my case. And I did not improvise! And it tasted okay.

The best part about the whole paella effort was that my toddler ate it!! Woohoo!

I always intend to take pretty pictures with the food presented beautifully, but screaming toddler + hungry husband = blurry pictures of food in the cooking pots.

Secret daughter

2010-05-21T15:56:00.000-07:00

After an entire year of reading peer reviewed journal articles and academic books and what not I was craving, yes craving, a novel. And I read the Shilpi Gowda's Secret Daughter.

I got through it pretty quickly considering I have a toddler and a husband. Its a good read, almost a must for anyone contemplating adoption. Gowda does a fantastic job of taking the reader through the emotions of the parents and the adopted child, especially when ethnicities and all the little details that is exclusive to the different ethnic groups. I loved the detail. I felt she rambled in parts, probably because I am familiar with some of what Gowda speaks about. Someone totally unfamiliar with Indian culture might appreciate the detail better.

All in all a good read and am onto my favourite now, thanks to hubby dearest for finding Archer's latest for me.

Catching up to the past

2010-05-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

Facebook has been good and bad in terms of revisiting old times. I have got in touch with loads of old school mates. My number of friends has shot up from somewhere around thirty to over one hundred. The trouble is that I would not classify everyone on my list of friends as 'friends'. Some may misunderstand this. Not that I do not like them, but they are not friends. Do you know what I am saying? They are acquaintances, people we meet on the way to some place in life and I believe we are supposed to leave them where we met them. But now we lug them around on Facebook and suddenly we owe them an explanation on every thing from photographs to random status updates (then again why do status updates? I'll save that for another time).

I have got in touch with people I knew from a very long time ago. It is nice that they remember my crazy ways, my likes, dislikes, capabilities etc., but I cannot for the life of me place their names or faces. They seem to know too much to be pretending. And then there are others I simply do not want in my life anymore. But how do you say it? How do you remove people from your list of friends and not upset them, especially those you are likely to see on a regular basis.

I am contemplating deleting my profile, but then again I will miss out on keeping in touch with my dearest friends and sharing stories about children and families with those that I want to. There was a time I could 'hide' and select my friends, but now they are able to 'find' me. I have deleted and blocked people, but its all getting to be a bit much. It seems like too much hassle. Should I stay or should I go? I knew the bloody internet would some day be the bane of my existence.

Alone

2010-05-06T07:49:00.001-07:00

It has been a rough couple of weeks. Things were challenging all through April and then just as it was beginning to ease up we had a nasty accident involving my toddler. I finally have that down time I wanted, only I have to clean the house from top to bottom now and get all the laundry done and think of what we will have for dinner and ... the list goes on.

But I am not motivated to do anything. I finally sorted my garden out and did all the work that I do to get it ready for the summer. Hopefully all my plants will do well and put on a show of colour for us. I just had my coffee, and feel really depressed.

I am wondering why? It could be that I find myself so alone, far away from all my dear friends, or it could be that despite all the hard work I keep getting my school work back, full of comments on how the smart ass professors are not able to 'understand' what it is I am saying. Up until now I have not had serious trouble with my writing skills. Now it looks like I can't write, at least according to my professors. I am not sure about anything right now. Let me see if I can get through some cleaning.

Multicultural crap

2010-02-25T18:40:00.000-08:00

It's my fourteen month-old's first multicultural day tomorrow! Whatever the hell that may mean. I hate the word 'multicultural', its the politically correct word for racism, at least in my opinion, at least where I currently live.

You see, I have a lousy sense of identity. Born in a beautiful country and forced to leave because of a fucked up civil war (which apparently is over), grew up in a country I learned to like and identify with until fate brought me right back to my country of birth. I was lost and a few years on found myself a place with a few good friends.

But then I was confronted with the whole "what am I going to do with myself...I don't want to be some old housewife dreaming of all the things I could have been, should have done..." So I left, this time to another continent altogether. I hated it at first, and then realised I fit right in. No one cared about the colour of my skin, my first language, religion or any of those things. I was me! I was a nerd, I was crazy, I was that person who called it as I saw it. And people were friends me with me for who I was. BUT, I struggled with the identity issue. I often asked myself who I really was!! As a matter of fact, I still do!

So when they call me from the daycare, when I am trying to get dinner ready after a nasty winter day, with a cranky infant and hungry husband, asking me to bring something or dress my son in something that relates to my tradition or culture, I wanted to ask the supervisor to get lost and hang up. But I didn't. I said I would have conjured up some costume if I had a girl, but seeing as I have a boy, I was not sure what to do. She then said, "oh don't worry love, its just that we told all the parents."

I spent the last hour or so thinking and Hubby and I decided our son will go and celebrate his citizenship. I don't want to hyphenate his citizenship. I want him to have a sense of belonging, develop a sense of identity and know true patriotism. I hope to learn from him. So tomorrow he will take with him his country flag. Go Canada Go!

Say again?

2010-02-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

I was on my way home and as I walked into the subway station I heard an announcement saying something about all services having resumed. I thought to myself that perhaps having a two hour discussion after class had perhaps been to my advantage when I heard, "...if you have not heard this announcement please call ..."

I was not sure how one could call if they never heard the announcement? You wouldn't know that you have not heard it, if you've never heard it!

Flower update

2010-02-19T05:57:00.000-08:00

Two days after I brought some tulips home they didn't look so happy. Every one of them seemed to be heading south (the only direction I can point to with confidence, well may be not).

So I had to get the clippers out and I straightened them out a bit. I clipped the stems and tried arranging them to look up a bit. But then they looked worse.

I left them until that night and fixed them up again. This time I cut the stems and removed most of the leaves and changed the vase as well.

And then I decided to move the vase to another place...one I thought would do the flowers justice.

But I was not happy, so I put it back on the dining table...and today they look ready to say good-bye. It sounds like I have way too much time on my hands, nothing could be farther from the truth, but these flowers have really helped in terms of reducing stress levels. Every time I looked at them I thought of the form, colours and how pretty they are, I didn't think of the pile of pathetic papers I have to mark or the papers I have read or the floors that need cleaning. I am going out to get more flowers today. Before that I might actually do some of the work that does need to be done. This blog thing is working for me too.

I don't know who reads this. But if you are reading this and there are no flowers where you live, get some, even if it is just one stem. They have more power than all the great things in life.

Its 2010!!

2010-02-18T12:28:00.000-08:00

I know we are well into the new year, but the last couple of weeks I have sort of been living in the past. I have stalked all my old friends on Facebook, listened to music from the nineties and thought of what might have been if I had done one thing over another.

Anyways...I just got home and was making myself a cup of coffee when I heard Des'ree on the radio. That song takes me to the mid nineties. So I was going about my business getting my coffee, thinking of dinner when it hit me that we are way past the mid-two thousand(?). We are into the second decade of the new millennium??!! And I had to Google the word to make sure I was saying the right thing.

2010 was supposed to be when robots ruled the world and we were flying around in space cars. But instead we are still walking, driving crappy cars and making our own coffee...where is my robot?!!

The sure cure

2010-02-14T11:13:00.000-08:00

Its been a long winter...autumn arrived early, the trees lost their leaves without their usual show of colours. Things are different with a baby around, we don't get out as much as we used to, just because bundling up the little guy seems a sin.

I got to thinking about how I could make this bearable for myself, I mean the long miserable winter with no significant snowfall for excitement and being confined indoors so much of the time...flowers!! They always perk me up. But trying so hard to be the good housewife means I often knock it off the shopping list as a luxury. But nah uh! I realise they get my spirits up better than any darned spirit out there. So after a considerable amount of time spent over which bunch I picked up these beautiful yellow tulips.

I love how the simplest things in life are the ones that make you smile...from the bottom of your heart.

Nostalgia

2010-02-09T20:53:00.000-08:00

There is much in life that can take you back in time...a smell of some sort, like a specific perfume. I know one brand of perfume that reminds me of my mother when I was around seven years old.

Music does the same, doesn't it? I was cleaning my desk (happens every once in a blue moon, or when things get totally out of control) and wanted to take myself to some place less complicated and I got good old you tube to take me back in time, to my first real job. My best friend and I would listen to Breakfast at Tiffany's when it played on the radio, we would be at work ridiculously early, and often we didn't work, but listened to music and I am not sure what else we did?! I don't know if she really liked it, but I loved it, for no apparent reason. Listening to it now just took me away from the complications life brings with time, it took me to a time of hope and dreams...oh to be young and dreaming of great things, things I know now I will never do.

So while I was at it, I also listened to That thing you do, I got to listening to this at a different time in my life. My friends would be dismayed to learn I can still listen to it over and over again. It also brings back fond memories of people that introduced me to a whole different me!

What I think really makes these songs special is not just the music, but the people I associate them with.

These are my happy songs. I am so glad I have them!

What was that again...Haiti...what?

2010-02-07T18:29:00.000-08:00

So what did I say about Haiti being forgotten...a pile of snow in Washington DC and Haiti was off the radar, gone! Now we just have to wait for the next insane humanitarian to kidnap a bunch of kids before we see it in the headlines again.

Haiti - The New Cold Front

2010-01-14T11:36:00.000-08:00

Headlines are screaming of the aftermath of an earthquake in Haiti! I heard this morning that a natural disaster has now turned into a humanitarian crisis, that is always true. But what pisses me off about this situation is that Haiti has always been a 'humanitarian crisis'. All this attention is transient and superficial.

Where was the media when US clinical trials tested contraceptives on the women in Haiti? Where have they been in all these years of exploitation that has left an entire nation destitute? Now they want to send aid because of the devastation caused by the earthquake. There is something so very wrong with all of this. It makes me angry.

The people in Haiti have needed help for a long time, and now the 'world' will intervene, help them find the bodies, bury the dead, feed the folks on the street and all until they next cold front hits our cities. Haiti will be forgotten again, until another earthquake or tsunami.

My Narnia

2010-01-13T19:02:00.000-08:00

It has been cold, so cold that no amount of layers could keep it out. It was so cold that the heating in the house seemed ineffective some days. I was starting to wonder if we would have The Day After Tomorrow kind of situation. I would of course be among to first to die.

It was because of this that when I felt the cool breeze while waiting for my train I drifted off. It was a cool breeze, almost like a summer breeze (it was just the train, but it got me thinking)...what if the platform started to disappear like it did in Prince Caspian and I was transported to a Narnia of my own?

I wondered what it would be like...not Narnia, but another life...would I be married, would I have children, would I be trudging through ice and snow to get to and from work, would I be bungee jumping, rock climbing, riding horses or filming fabulous documentaries in the Galapagos islands? Would I be sunbathing on a sunny beach some place? Would I have the same people I share my life with now in this other life? Or would there be other people? What would they be like?...

It would be nice to live that other life and come back and carry on this life with memories from the other. I might appreciate what I have more...or not!

The train arrived and I got on and got back to reading...the effect of neo-liberalism on the welfare state...

When I got out of the station the cold wind hit me...reality!

Little lady works

2010-01-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

I realised today that I don't have to be pregnant the rest of my life to have people hold doors or find a seat in a crowded cafeteria. You just have to be a little lady, walk like one and don't open your mouth (if you are as loud and annoying as I am), just smile.

I wore my new coat, very lady like coat - beige with belts to make the waist look smaller with a very elegant hood. I have always been sceptical about lady like coats for the longest time and have stuck to my trusty ski jacket, often looking like an angry, messy teenager ready to shove anyone who got in my way. Winter weather gives me no reason to smile. But this little jacket proved me wrong today. It was -21 with the windchill and it passed the test! I am very impressed and it did not cost a hundred dollars either. Need I say I am very pleased.

Well anyways, wearing this coat made me feel like a lady. Or maybe pretend like one would be a more honest thing to say. I opened doors very gently (all the while smiling to myself, wondering why I was doing that) and took teeny tiny steps while walking (the slush all over the place meant I had to do that and it worked to my advantage). Everywhere I went people smiled and held the door for me and let me get to the sugar and milk at the coffee shop and one young man even let me have his seat at the cafeteria.

There is one other thing, it could also be my new hat. At just $7 it was bargain and unlike my maroon moose hat (which was wonderfully warm and loyal until I donated it to some lost and found somewhere in this God forsaken city...meaning, I have no idea where I dropped it) is also very stylish. It is worth paying attention to what you look like I suppose.

On the flip side, people may just have been nice because it is the first day back and almost everyone I ran into may be trying hard to keep their resolutions to be half decent to people around them.

All in all, it was a good day. I am giving credit to my new coat and here's to a fabulous new year to everyone.

The Moment

2009-07-22T09:42:00.000-07:00

There are times when you do something or go some place on the spur of the moment and it works out. You enjoy yourself but don't realise it at the time. And you try so hard to recreate that moment in vain. Everyone has those moments.

Hubby and I have always enjoyed movies on Friday nights with some junkfood. We did it until the night I went into labour. It feels like its been ages, although it has only been around seven months since we got to do that. I am sure we will again...someday.

I'll get to the point of this story. Last week, after a bath and feed my precious offspring made his brief trip (its never an all night event, at least not yet) to dreamland. I slowly brought my sore self downstairs to get a cup of tea only to find Hubby at his computer watching a ridiculous Will Ferrell movie.

I hate Will Ferrell. His movies are lousy, I hate his sense of humour and here he was fighting off a dinosaur smarter than him. I was annoyed. Then I got interested, Ferrell's character reminded me of a man I work with, "I am Dr. Whatever...I know more about dinosaurs..." I wanted to see if he would get eaten by the animal. I hoped he would and never act in another film, ever.

So I popped some corn, dragged a chair and sat beside Hubby. We watched the whole damn movie and had a few laughs and went to bed with smiles on our faces. We have been trying to do the same thing again, but I know we never will, because that was a 'moment' and it will not happen again. So it must be cherished *sigh*.

p.s. - Ferrell was eaten by the dinosaur and pooped out. He lived. I still hate him.

A day out and another and another...

2009-06-24T07:09:00.001-07:00

When we were expecting our baby, both Hubby and I were thrilled. We talked about all that we could do with "it". But we were not prepared for what an infant had to offer. It might pay to be a pessimist and expect a colicky, constipated, clingy baby. But then again it might take the fun out of being pregnant and all that dreaming you do of fun days while on maternity leave. My fun days includ ewalks to the mall in my efforts to keep the little fellow entertained. I tried walking in the park, but apparently he does not fancy watching birds and trees (I am guessing its all one big blur to him right now) instead he likes to watch people or anything that moves constantly and is filled with colour.

These walks have been very educational, to me ofcourse. I have never been much of a shopper. I still rely heavily on Hubby, Mom or whooever is willing to assist in buying clothes, I mean real clothes. I can handle my jeans and t-shirt shopping. But serious work, lady like clothes are an issue with me. The point of this is that almost all shops have signs about specials. At least three shops I have seen have signs that say "Only Today - 25% off" or whatever percentage off. But if everyday is "today" then I don't have to rush and buy the stuff. The other thing I am learning is that it is not too hard to take that credit card out and buy stuff. Like yesterday, when I bought myself a pair of shoes. It was thrilled. I walked out of the shop with the biggest grin, with a sleeping baby in the stroller. Why shouldn't I grin at everyone around me!! I can see why some people are addicted to shopping. All this is stuff I would never have learned without my baby boy.

He's sleeping right now. Not much time left, so I must down that cup of coffee and see if I can get some stuff done.

Change

2009-06-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

People kept telling me that life will change with a baby. I expected it to, perhaps not to the extent that it has, but I did. What I did not expect was to see the changes in me, I am not referring to being fat or going bald but to who I am, the essence of my being, if I may call it that. I have a wise friend who constantly spoke of 'priorities', I must tell him that he was right. There are days when I have completely forgotten to pee, that's right, forgotten (or maybe those stretch receptors in my bladder died with child birth). Bottomline, life has changed. And its pretty much almost always about the baby.

What else has changed is the attitude of people. Its almost like my husband and I have earned our membership in this club that makes it alright to talk about other women's breasts and genitals and your own. They are not sexual organs anymore, they are "a portal of entry or exit (whichever you prefer) and organs of sustenance". We have been accepted by relatives who would not visit us for we live 30 bloody minutes away from them (that is a f@#*ing long drive for some), but now I am told, "let us know if you need anything, its just a thirty minute drive". Oh really! Sure, will do.

Being married, not living together or being in a long term relationship, but being married means you must have children. That seems to be universal. If you choose not to you are pretty much an outcast. We took our time with this baby, but the five years from marriage to the birth of this child was a constant barrage of "so, when are you guys have a kid". I bet there were speculations of my being a lesbian (what with a wardrobe that consisted of nothing but jeans and shirts) or my husband being homosexual. Ah well, we have proven that we are both fertile. As for our sexuality, well if the ignorant associate homosexuality to infertility, its really their problem.

I am sure life and people around us will keep changing as our baby grows...and so will I. Sitting here typing this means my son has decided he will leave me be for an hour (if I am lucky). Here's hoping he will let me keep up with this blog business.

Stepping stones

2009-04-16T16:22:00.000-07:00

If failures are stepping stones to success, I should be able to build myself a staircase with the road tests I fail. So I failed the bloody road test again. I wouldn't have passed me if I were the examiner. I made the three point turn, perfect turn, only I drove on the wrong side of the road!

Who's worse

2009-04-12T20:20:00.000-07:00

I wonder who is worse? Hypocrites or people who constantly contradict themselves and claim to be poorly understood. The former, I can ignore and stay away from. The latter, a little more difficult to deal with. If I could walk away from people altogether, I would. But I just brought a new person into this world, and that means I am stuck to the world with people. I cannot remove myself to a world void of people.

Sweet Surprise

2009-03-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

You sometimes put something away and forget all about it, like a few dollars in the secret compartment of your wallet/purse or whatever you call it. Sometimes you wonder if the bulbs that come out of the pots that you are clearing away for the winter will come up the following year and put them away.

So, while I was looking for something the other day I found some dahlia bulbs that I left in a pot over the winter. I brought it into the house and left it by the back door where all my houseplants reside for the winter, and while giving my babies a drink I just gave the dahlia pot a touch of water too. Well, what do you know, I walk over to say good morning to my flora this morning and lo and behold, my dahlias are coming up! I so love these little surprises, so much better than diamonds or pearls.

Violets

2009-03-26T14:35:00.001-07:00

My African violets. These are two of my favourites. I discovered my green thumb when I attempted to propagate a deep purple violet. I was very excited that I was actually able to grow new plants, so excited that I ended up with dozens of new plants, which I then started to give away for lack of space in the then tiny apartment. It felt good to be giving away plants, especially to veteran gardenerrs.

Then I looked around one day and saw that I had very few plants left and what I had were doing badly. My deep purple one was completely gone, not one left. I lost the pink one too. I love the white one, and I was really upset to see it doing badly. I took a leaf cutting and hoped it would grow new plants. Six months later it had three baby plants, which now sit in three pots, all with flowers. The white with purple borders was a gift, also one that I had and lost altogether. So once again happy to have that. My pink double petal one has a bud on it. I am waiting for it to blossom. Never fancied myself a gardener one, but I guess I am, at some level.

And outside the house my daffodils are making an appearance, bringing hope of warmer days and letting me know that I am their gardener.

And so I 'weight'

2009-03-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

For the longest time I weighed no more than 51 kilos. The most I had weighed was 52 kilos. But growing a baby goes hand in hand with gaining weight. I wondered if I would because, there was a time when, no matter how much I ate, I simply could not gain weight. I always ate what I wanted and stayed the same weight, so much so that I had a pair of jeans from my high school days that fit me perfectly until I got pregnant (it is in tatters). But, I did gain weight and now weigh over 65 kilos!!!

I was surprised at how steadily I gained weight, and unlike before when the weight was distributed to regions not easily noticed by anyone but me, now it is all over. I shed my baby around three months ago, but the "baby weight" is still sticking around. Nursing my little man means I can't go on a diet, but simply cannot imagine doing that either, because I have never ever been on a diet.

Anyhow, wondering how you go about shedding all this extra weight while eating sensibly, etc., has helped me better understand my friends who struggle with weight issues. It isn't easy, especially when people visit you with chocolate fudge cake, which, hubby can't eat because he is on a diet and can stay on it. And you simply cannot let a good cake go to waste, so...I managed to get a picture of thew last piece of the cake before devouring it. Ah well, as I always say, life is short, so...

Dare

2009-03-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

The arrival of our offspring has forced me to take driving lessons. Most places that babies have to be taken to seem to have no access to public transport and hence the need to drive legally.

My instructor is a retired pilot who served in the Royal Airforce. We still haven't got to interesting stories about World Wars, etc., but I am sure, the rate at which I am going, we will. I am not sure whether it is his military experience, absolute confidence in himself or his students or sheer madness, but he teaches without brakes on the passenger side of the car. To most instructors their lives depend on that brake!

My independence and day trips for my baby depends on these lessons. Here's hoping both teacher and I come out unscathed, with that damned licence.

...

2009-02-24T05:46:00.000-08:00

I was a day overdue and highly irritable when I heard the MTV/MBC station had been attacked by “armed civilians”. Interesting when you think that there are “armed” civilians walking the streets of Sri Lanka. I have been there and have fond memories, and it saddened me to think that it was vandalised or attacked, whichever word is more appropriate. While I was thankful that no one was hurt, I was angry, and the progesterone coursing through my system added fuel to the fire. I raged on about it to my poor Hubby and my Mother who is visiting to help us with the baby.

Not sure if it was the injustice against private news organisations in Sri Lanka, or MTV in particular, or perhaps it was the obstetrician working her magic on my cervix, I went into labour that night, while still ranting about how nothing would be done about the attack and how could civilians get their hands on arms without the support of some one or some people with more authority, and in Sri Lanka’s case “power”. Authority and power are not to be mixed up, not in Sri Lanka, not in the current climes.

So I went into labour as I was saying (that is a story for another time), and our boy arrived the next day. I completely forgot about the attack, which is rather unusual for me, but I would say, something like childbirth might do that to a woman’s brain. Anyway, we had been home a couple of days, and I was just beginning to feel my numb bottom and praying desperately for some sleep when Hubby asked me if I knew the editor of the Sunday Leader. I knew it had to be bad news. Why would he ask me about someone he knew nothing about, journalists from Sri Lanka don’t win the Pulitzer, they just get killed, that is recognition of quality work. The hormones still raging through me, I did not take this news well.

What the hell is going on in Sri Lanka? I tried to live in denial for the longest time by avoiding any news coming out of the country. And now…weeks later, the government is surging into the north and east and the LTTE are flying into the city bombing or crashing into buildings, whatever it may be and my son is growing, I am recovering, but my head is full of nasty memories associated with the birth of my child. I am confused, not sure what to think. I always wanted to take my offspring to Sri Lanka, a beautiful country with beautiful people…I don’t think there will be much for him to see. There certainly will be few nice people left for him to meet. They are all leaving the country, or worse still dying!

State of mind...

2009-01-30T10:14:00.001-08:00

Hubby and I had just come home with our brand new baby and were in the process of registering the birth online. We went about entering our names, age, date of baby's birth, etc. We then entered the name of the doctor, the hospital at which he was delivered and then Hubby read aloud, "mode of delivery." Me in my 'fresh off the delivery bed mode' very confidently said, "vaginal."

He was asking about the method of delivery for the birth certificate, not the birth itself!

I am glad I was not filling out the forms!

Neighbour

2008-12-09T06:07:00.000-08:00

Its been aorund three months since our neighbour passed away. He was one of those men who could smile about everything. Always had a kind word for everyone on the street. He never shut the door on you even if you were simply walking past his house. He moved in with his beautiful wife a month or so after we had moved into the neighbourhood ourselves. We thought he said his name was Clinton, but the news of his passing away reached as "Cleveland has passed away"... we still don't know his 'real' name. But we will remember him, always. Sometimes I can almost see him walk passed our house cheerfully calling out, "How are you? Not going to work today?" I miss him. He was the happy grand daddy of our street.

I had often thought of baking something (an experiment of course) and taking it over to him. I liked him a lot. He would be up in the wee hours of the morning in the winter and you know he is out there when you hear the shovel on the sidewalk as he shovels the snow off both his and his neighbours' sidewalks.

It's been snowing for two days now, and his absence is very noticeable, the sidewalks have not been shoveled. I just opened the front door to check if the snow was accumulating heavily, and wondered if I ought to salt it, and I heard a shovel on the sidewalk. It was his beautiful wife, shovelling. If I were not with child, I would go out and do it for her. It seems wrong that she should be doing it. She must miss him so much.

What makes me so sad, is that it took this man's death for us to step into his house and speak to his wife. Take nothing for granted, not a day, not a soul ... life is too short.

Visa Drama

2008-12-08T06:02:00.000-08:00

Every so often something happens that completely throws you off and you wonder what to do ... becuase to begin with you believe you have done the right thing and stuck to the rules ... now what? Break the rules, lie??

Hubby and I are expecting our "Bandito" (as Hubby likes to refer to him/her), and we hoped my parents would be able to visit from Sri Lanka to give us a hand in the first few challenging months and then hopefully spend some wuality time with us as the miserable weather improves and the spring bulbs blossom. So they go ahead and apply for their six month Canadian visitor's visa at the High Commission in Colombo. They had all their papers in order, just as they did the last time they visited. All they had was a letter of invitation and our tax papers, and they were granted a three-month visa, stating that first time visitors are only granted a three month, single-entry visa, although they had applied for a multiple-entry visa. This time, being their second time we had hoped it would be a six month visa, but apparently not. Since we were honest about the pregnancy and the reason for the visit, they granted them a three-month visa, the reason being there was no letter from my Physician stating that I am in fact pregnant!

This makes absolutely no sense to me because, they did grant her a visa without that letter. It would have made sense to reject the application out right and ask her to come back with a letter. Why just reduce the duration of her stay?

To add to this nonsense, the Citizenship and Immigration Canada website does not state anywhere that we ought to include a letter from a doc, they only need proof of financial support and I know there is enough. Well, it was adequate to grant them a visa the first time. To top it off, the CIC website does not talk about a three month visa at all. Or I must have missed it. We could apply for an extension, but that takes 74 days (not sure working or not) to process, and we don't have that kind of time. Ahhhhhh... I can do without this stress right now.

I really don't understand how these things work, and who bloody makes these decisions!! So anyone applying for visas such as these, include all the possible letters and papers possible and hope and pray that it lands in the hands of a sensible person behind the counter. I do believe that is what ultimately matters, which makes the whole process really unfair and the rules/laws rather silly to have in place.

Regret

2008-11-25T07:53:00.000-08:00

I always took pride in saying that I speak my mind. Wise parents, friends and family have always cautioned me against doing that. But I find it so hard to refrain from saying something when I feel that what is happening is unfair in anyway. I can't say I take sides, but feel that the truth must be heard. But am I ever sorry I said what was on my mind recently.

I have learned that it is one thing to try and reason with friends, colleagues and even strangers, but you cannot reason with family. You never really know with family and when your actions, meant to help someone you love ends up hurting the same person, it feels terrible. I doubt I will 'speak my mind' like I have all this while, ever again. At least not with the family.

The beginning...?

2008-11-03T08:13:00.000-08:00

After what the media claims as the most expensive campaign in history, Barack Hussein Obama is president elect, with the democrats organising to pull the US out of the hole and hopefully help fix the ailing economy.

No doubt Obama has a lot on his plate. I do believe the expectations are rather unreal. I really like this man, he is intelligent, no doubt. He organised a terrific campaign and raked in the votes for the democrats, I doubt Hillary Clinton would have had the energy to pull that off. Happy as I am that it is Obama in the White House and not McCain, I am not convinced that things will change too soon or for the better. Although things cannot get any worse than they already are.

The US is not the superpower that it once was. Obama has to restore its credibility globally, and I think by voting for him the Americans have to some extent restored the faith of the international community. BUT, I will remain skeptical about the foreign policies that will emerge from the White House come January. He has to fix the economy (easier said than done), and keep the promises made about tax cuts, health benefits and so on. I am also eager to see what his stand will be on environmental issues. Will the US finally ratify the Kyoto Protocol? So many questions...only time will tell.

In the meantime I hope Obama stays safe. His middle name is not going to do him any favours and everytime I hear or read of comparisons to JFK, I shudder. I do not want this man, or any man to have to face an end like JFK or MLK Jr for that matter. So here's hoping...and praying.

Equality

2008-10-27T09:24:00.000-07:00

It was only recently that I noticed one of my male co-workers who has his office on the second floor of the building I work at come up to use the Men's room on the third floor. I just assumed that the toilets downstairs were probably in bad shape. But it just occured to me as I made my way downstairs today to heat my lunch (the kitchen is on the second floor) that there is no Men's room on the second floor!

Now that I think of it there are only two men on the floor and perhaps the management decided these guys can walk up to use the washroom. But there is a Ladies room down there. Some will argue that there are other washrooms on the same floor, just outside the building we work at. But what would the women say if the situation was reversed and two women on a floor had no washroom?

So much for equal rights!

Confession

2008-10-23T04:38:00.001-07:00

I was walking home from work yesterday afternoon when I found one of our elderly neighbours stuffing his recycle bin to the maximum and in his efforts spilling a lot of the trash on the sidewalk. Being the good neighbour that I am (or not), helped him pile the rubbish in the bin, all the while flinching at how much garbage was being stuffed into the recycle bin.

Earlier in the day hubby and I had a chat about "recycle or garbage tonight" and I was pretty sure we said it was garbage, so I thought I must share that with the nice gentleman and I did. I very confidently told him it was "garbage day" and not recycle, so he should transfer some of the trash into the garbage bin and put it out. He thanked me and added that I was very kind. I walked away feeling good about having helped a dear old man.

Later in the evening as I was cleaning out the trash in the kitchen etc., I double checked the calendar and it had a clear picture of the bloody blue bin, which meant "recycle", urrghh, I had misinformed the poor man. I wanted to walk up to his house and tell him I was wrong, but the devil in me said, "it is way too cold outside, you will need to pack on the layers to go out," so I stayed home. I couldn't check this morning as to what he had put out. I will apologise the next time I see him and if I see someone struggling with an overflowing bin I will help them pick their trash up, and walk by saying nothing. Lesson learned!

Could this happen?

2008-10-22T13:50:00.000-07:00

I don't remember Osama releasing a hate message just weeks before the previous US presidential election, and had no idea that it had a lot to do with Kerry losing. But could it happen again? What are the odds of McCain winning if that were to happen? Would people panic and go with an old-timer rather than take their chances with a man who actually has a functioning brain?

Produce

2008-10-10T14:07:00.000-07:00

I might sound a bit like the Queen of France who suggested people eat cake if they have no money for bread, but this summer we tried our luck with vegetables in the garden, well, if you call tomatoes and chilies vegetables in response to all the news about the global food crisis.

Anyhow, we are pleased with the outcome. We did nothing but plant and watch them grow. Mother nature took care of the watering and the beds had just been done so the soil was good, and we got a decent crop. But there were more tomatoes and chilies than two people could consume so it was distributed in the neighbourhood. It felt good to do that, especially for kind neighbours who bring fantastic food over at times. But one thing we did learn was that it is important to pinch off the little shoots that appear between the main stalk and the branches. We didn't learn this soon enough, so the plants did look a bit like Jack's beanstalk before we cut it back. It was after cutting them back that we started to see more fruit. The chilies however just thrived and we got a good crop. Ah...the test of fresh chillies in a sambol...a little taste of home.

I must thank the girl for inspiring me to put the pictures together like I have. I have done it once, hopefully can do it again. You know how it is with computers, you do something once and then completely forget what you did. Well, at least I do that, all the time, much to the annoyance of my hubby.

Why?

2008-10-09T04:12:00.000-07:00

I did not want to rant about the US presidential elections, but goodness me it is getting to be a drag. I wish Palin would shut up, I am still trying to figure out why McCain would pick a scatter brain like her to be his running mate. The Republicans also ought to get themselves better "coaches" for the debates, perhaps different ones too, so Palin and McCain don't sound like they just came out of Debate 101 classes. And in all fairness, both the men are beginning to sound like dummies, saying the same thing over and over again and stop the bloody finger pointing!

Since Obama sounds like the only one with functioning gray matter at the moment, I do hope the Americans vote for him. But its common knowledge there are enough Americans with no gray matter whatsoever who will vote for McCain and as a result for Palin. How sad is that? I know Obama is leading in polls but that is no guarantee he will win. This is American afterall, and they did elect George Bush Jr., twice!! Well, that may be stretching it a bit, who knows what happened the first time.

Nevertheless, what has me is that Canadian federal elections are less than a week away and no one is talking about it. Canada will feel the effects of the American economic crisis more than any other country in the world and I don't think even the Canadians care. Unfortunately, there is little to choose from in terms of a decent leader north of the border. Australia got rid of John Howard, and Tony Blair is gone, so it would be nice if the Republicans take the back seat for a bit in the US and gosh wouldn't it be nice to see what the New Democratic Party can do for Canada! But it certainly would be one big experiment...sigh...

Mammary Glands

2008-10-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

Mammary glands, more commonly known as breasts or boobs, are specialised sweat glands. Although the secretion is not quite the same as sweat, it nevertheless is a sweat gland. And hence I wonder what the obsession with it is? It is a mass of adipose tissue (fancy way of saying fat) with a lot of ducts that allow milk production and secretion during pregnancy and lactation, that being the purpose of those glands. But some would argue that is serves more than that just the purpose of satiating a howling infant. I won't get into that.

I got to thinking a lot about it over the weekend because I went shopping for support apparatus for the glands. As I paid the hefty bill, I wondered why men are turned on by big breasts, is it a sign of heightened fertility in women or something? And it must be because men are attracted to larger glands that women strive to increase their size, some of them, at any cost. There are however women that have had to battle the constant attention their glands have attracted due to their size, and the battle goes up one level when these women get pregnant - one can easily go up two sizes, and in some cases the growing fetus does not overshadow the growing bossoms. So much so that people notice the breasts before the belly.

So perhaps the easy solution for women with smaller breasts is to get pregnant? And if a man's only complaint about a woman he likes is that she has smaller breasts, then he should get her pregnant and watch it grow? And it will grow by the day! And I hear from the veterans that the size never goes back to the pre-pregnancy size. So...hope for the teeny ladies and not so much hope for the buxom ones.

(picture courtesy funny-potato.com)

Globalisation

2008-09-24T11:59:00.000-07:00

I am going through a "globalisation" phase. I deliberately spell it with an 's', because...I am me!

This gentleman explains globalisation better than anyone I have heard do it so far. I have listened to him at least twice and for anyone trying to understand the current credit crisis in North America and why there is a third world and a first world and all that kind of nonsense, must listen to him. It may take a while to get the hang of his accent, but it is certainly worth listening to.

It is what I said a few weeks ago, when I talked about the economic crisis. We just need the whole world to catch onto what he is saying and then hope that we can change things for the better..

Stuffed

2008-09-24T11:45:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a talk on the global food crisis...it has been all about a crisis of one form or another lately. That's the reality I guess. And as I write, I am drinking tea (probably not fair trade) and eating a slice of cake from a local supermarket. Perhaps I should feel guilty, but I don't. The only way to ensure that the food I eat is not harming anyone else or me for that matter is to grow it in my own backyard. The corporate bastards have had control over the food industry for over a century. What am I going to do? Well, Dr Raj Patel, says we must be proprietors of democray, and that is how we can change things, because the world we live in is not democratic. Yay, so that is what we must do, change the world! Is it really that simple?

He is an accomplished academic and has seen more of the consequences of the free market economy on farmers in most developing countries than most people I know. I am humbled by his knowledge, but like most scholars he pointed out all the reasons why the world is the way it is: why India has a rapidly increasing rate of type II diabetes; why the rate of suicide among farmers is on the rise the world over; why billions starve, while the rest are stuffed...the title of his book. I am going to read the book. I want to understand better, why this is happening. I know knowledge is power. But would the power I gain from the knowledge suffice to take on the power of the corporate world that controls nation states, the governments that we elect in a so called democratic manner? Who ultimately governs us? The corporations or the 'government'?

Well, I am going to have to read the book and draw some conclusions. In the meantime, I am not sure I can afford to purchase fair trade or organic foods. I don't earn enough to pay for that, and my taxes, which are being used to bail out stupid corporations. And this means, while we arm ourselves with the power the poor farmers all over the world may continue to take their lives to keep us fed.

Economic crisis! Really?

2008-09-16T08:01:00.000-07:00

Global markets are a mess with stock prices plummeting like it is the end of the world. To some people it will be the end of the world. It is largely because the average person invests his or her retirement savings in the stock market. But what is annoying is that once again the world pays for American stupidity. Stupid banks lend with no security whatsoever and are going bankrupt all over the place and the government is using tax payers' money to bail them out. And as a consequence the markets crashing around the globe.

I blame the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund. They are the chief of all money launderers out there. I am of the opinion that the WB set the precedence for what is happening world over and most importantly in America. The institution, contrary to its name is all American. Who knew that the world's most indebted country is the United States of America. I wonder how they get away with it, while third world countries auction public estate to pay off their loans. This is part of the so called debt-relief plans offered to most countries, so eventually American corporate idiots will own half the world.

It is going to be interesting, yet depressing to watch how the crisis turns out. The last global recession was followed by a World War. Here's hoping that is not how it turns out this time. I only hope Obama, who acknowledges the plight of the economy comes to power and works to turn things around, in fact he has to, or he will remembered as the President who took the country to damnation. Because another World War will not be so kind to America. The rest of the world is ready to take on the super power of yesterday.

The election

2008-09-10T10:56:00.001-07:00

I have been following the US federal election alot more closely than ever before. Only because it is so much like a Jeffrey Archer novel...the first female, or even better, the first ever Black President for the US. Sounds like fiction to me.

Everyone knew that it would either be Obama or Clinton, and Obama it is. McCain was certain to lead the Republican from day one, but Palin, oh boy, now that was a surprise, or should I say shock? Some claim that McCain has handed the Presidency to Obama. But I beg to differ. We are speaking of the United States of America...they stand 'united' on issues such as the BigMac and NFL, not so much issues such as choosing a leader for their nation.

Obama has a tough fight ahead. It does not help that McCain's team is taking every opportunity to veer away from real issues at hand and create silly diversions about lipstick and pigs and dogs and what have you...although I wonder if the new polls are evidence that their tactics are working. The two fellows are tied in the, so this election could go either way. I cannot wait.

On an interesting turn of events, Canadian PM Harper, clever bugger, has called for Federal elections on October 14th. With all that is going on south of the border, Canadians are not likely to pay close enough attention to what is going on at home, and may earn Harper the win he desires. Regardless of that, I doubt he has any competition in Dion.

The cheaper option

2008-08-23T09:07:00.001-07:00

Having stayed away from the Golden Arches for the longest time, we decided we could indulge in some pancakes and hashbrown this morning and since these places are so conveniently located inside supermarkets, we could finish up the weeks grocery shopping as well (doing the environmentally friendly thing and saving on gas/petrol). So off we went, not bright and early, but around mid morning.

We get there and surprisingly get to order after just a very brief wait. "two hotcakes, two hashbrowns and two coffees please. But hang on, I want to to know if it would be cheaper to order the happy meal rather than the item individually, and the happy meal comes with the toy, right?"

The girl behind the counter, "oh I don't know, hang on, let me find out. And yes, you get the toy."

She spoke to the lady with the scarf around her collar, who we presumed would know, since she is wearing the scarf around the collar and that probably means she knows a little more than the girl with a plain shit and no scarf.

So the scarf lady approaches us, and we repeat the question. Her response, "its not much of a difference, may be around fifty cents."

We say, "okay, so which would be cheaper? Should we just order the items separately or the happy meal?"

Scary lady, "like I said, it is just a fifty cents difference."

Me responding (not the patient of the two of us), "we get that, we just want to know which of the two options is cheaper."

Scarf lady, "I can't tell you the exact difference, then I have to punch it in, but it is a small difference."

Me (losing my patience, to the extent of not wanting the meal anymore, also for fear she might spit in the food), "I understand it is a small difference, I am just asking which of the two options is cheaper."

Scary lady, "let me punch it in." She does her finger dance on the punchy thing. "That would be 8.41."

Now I am not a mathematician, but 11.30 for the intial order and 8.41 for the meals as a combo work out to a little more than a fifty cent difference! I don't comment, but husband does, "well that is more than a fifty cent difference, what toys do you have?"

She probably was not impressed with two graying, obviously over the hill individuals asking for toys, but she plonks down Yoda and some other space thingy on the tray without making eye contact and proceeded to get us our order.

But honestly, why could she not tell us which of the two options was cheaper? Did she not understand what the word cheap meant, or was she not sure of the cost and did not want to admit it because she was the scarf lady? Whatever it was customer service is heading downhill faster than I am.

What?

2008-08-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

So Radovan Karadzic wants a new judge appointed because he believes that the presiding judge is not likely to be impartial and will likely convict him. If you ask me, anyone of sane mind would want this man behind bars. It is no secret that he was behind the 1990s genocide in the Balkans. It is this talk of 'democracy' and 'right to a free trial' that even allows guys like this to talk. Urrgghh!

Peace in Paradise?

2008-06-03T11:05:00.000-07:00

It has been twenty-five years since the 'riots' in Sri Lanka that caused tens of thousands of Tamils to flee the country. Since then things have only gotten worse. In 1983 the oppressed were Tamils, hunted and killed and burned alive in their homes and vehicles. In 1986, in and around tea plantations, dominated by Tamils, it was the Sinhalese who were oppressed. There were Tamil casualties too, but those in danger of being killed were the Sinhalese, taking refuge in the homes of Tamils, just the way the Sinhalese provided refuge to their Tamil friends in Colombo in 1983.

If the two groups were looking out for each other, who the hell was responsible for the 'riots'. Who is to say that the war is between Tamils and Sinhalese? Who still supports the bloody 'dispute', which has escalated into a full fledged war in all these years? Will the LTTE ever have a separate state? And if they do who will live there? The millions of Tamils who have migrated since the "riots" to make a life for themselves overseas? Would they want to go back and start tilling the lands and raising crops and teach their children, who now speak anything but Tamil, what type of rice to cultivate?

And if the bloody governments were about protecting the Sinhalese, how do they account for the thousands of soldiers, almost all Sinhalese who have died fighting this futile battle, with no vistory in sight for either side? If the government did wipe out the LTTE would the thousands of Sinhalese who have migrated over the years move back and go about their daily business in Colombo again?

Life as these people had known has changed. But it appears as though the LTTE and the government are in complete denial, in a world that involves no one but them, where the ego previals over all things rational. Or perhaps these insecure individuals who lead both sides are being fed by the power and money hungry nations that mass produce the weapons and spur them on, because without warring countries would the weapon's industry thrive?

So many questions with no answers! Life goes on, people carry on, bomb explosions that kill a dozen people are just events of another day in paradise. Is the situation beyond any hope of peace? Will the fighting continue until the end of my time?

The Jane Austen Book Club

2008-05-02T12:48:00.000-07:00

A real feel good movie and fantastic for anyone who love books, and for those who don't. You needn't have read Austen to follow the movie either. Its been ages since I saw a movie that was just plain nice and this fits the bill perfectly. The book club was a brilliant idea for cost effective therapy...strangers and friends are always the best therapists in my opinion.
Picture courtesy: imdb.com

Sights and sounds of Spring

2008-05-02T09:26:00.001-07:00

American Goldfinches are one of my favourite birds. I love watching them at the feeder. And the only gentleman in the flock is waiting patiently for his mates to be done before he takes his turn. Actually in birds' world I hear that the younger chaps have to wait their turn for food and a nice piece of real estate, not to mention the mates. They only ever get the left overs. So perhaps he is not a gentleman as much as he is a rookie.

We fed Mr Chip here plenty in the Fall and hoped he would return, so naturally I was thrilled that he made his way right to the door step for lunch.

Chickadees calling out to each other. So entertaining and so loud for teeny tiny birds. There are beautiful photographs of these birds on Songshards' site.

Prophecy

2008-05-02T09:05:00.000-07:00

I have been too busy to make entries...but this I have to tell you. A wise friend once predicted that I will witness the following incident.

I walked out into the cold earlier this week after a particularly gruelling day of trying to accomplish various things and joined people walking by, dressed as if it was a warm summer day on the sidewalk. They did not appear to have much subcutaneous fat to keep them warm either, I shrugged and walked on with hunched shoulders to keep warmand stepped aside for a man who obviously did not feel the cold on his roller blades. As he passed me on the sidewalk I realised he was headed for this silly pedestrian engrossed with his cell phone or whatever the gadget was that he had in his hand. Fortunately for the pedestrian Mr Rollerblades saw him in good time and swerved (if that is the term), but unfortunately for him lost his balance and fell sideways into the guy headed from the opposite direction on his skateboard and a cyclist who turned into the sidewalk from around the corner ran right into Mr Rollerblades and Mr Skateboard. What a mess! And the irony of it was that Mr Pedestrian just walked on oblivious to what had happened, quite content in his little electronic world.

What did I do? I just stood there, speechless, trying really hard not to grin as I watched them pick themselves up and curse the pedestrian. When they looked in my direction I did grin, and then did too, thankfully. We shrugged and grinned and went our separate ways.

This was especially funny (to me, I know that's nasty) because as I said, a wise friend once predicted that this would happen years ago, and it did. Only wish I had had my camera. This description does no justice to what I saw.

"American" Idol

2008-04-11T16:37:00.001-07:00

I have been watching the American Idol beyond the auditions this year, perhaps because the final 24 were quite talented and when it came to the top ten, they were brilliant. There are a couple of singers I don't care for, but for the most part, it is a talented line up. But I wondered if America would vote for an Australian, Irish, Filipino or a Japanese singer for that matter. All of them reside in the US and obviously qualified to be on the show, but the cynic in me was doubtful.

The Japanese singer was first to go, can't remember his name, and his Filipino friend followed shortly after (in all fairness, the others were way better than her and I was not surprised, but she was cute and did a great job while on the show). Last night the Australian, Michael Johns, was eliminated and he is very very talented. The Irish girl, Carly, was also in the bottom three. She will go soon. I hate to put a political spin on a show like American Idol, but it is through programs like this you sometimes get a feel for what is really going on in people's minds. Some may argue the song choice...I disagree, Kristy Lee Cook who really doesn't belong in that show has managed to stay on. Perhaps there are more men (and lesbians) voting.

If Americans cannot vote for a foreign born pop idol...what are the odds that they will vote for a President who actually tans rather than turning red in the sun?

Why?

2008-04-09T13:44:00.000-07:00

There was a bomb explosion on Sunday in Sri Lanka that killed a number of people. So many have been killed in that bloody war and more that I have lost count and cannot afford to care anymore if I am to retain my sanity (at least whatever is left of it). So I heard the news and tried not to process it, especially since so many civilians had died in the blast and they were about to begin a marathon, a reasonably happy occasion you would think.

On Tuesday, I go into work and log onto my email and there was a message with the subject "Sunday's Bomb Blast" in my mail box. I saw the paper clip on it and was a little concerned that it might be pictures, but then I usually don't receive repulsive pictures from that specific sender so I open it, and lo and behold, there are pictures of body parts scattered and 'officials' removing body parts, not bodies. Because that is what happens when bombs go off, you just have to clean up the flesh and blood and all things gory, there are few in tact bodies to remove. And for anyone involved there is little you can do to rid your brain of that smell, the smell of burnt flesh. It stays with you for life. I deleted the email as soon as I had opened it, wishing I had not seen what I had.

But this left me wondering why we take pictures of things like that and circulate it. I know that news organisations do it for the sensationalism. But to email these pictures? There is no "viewer discretion advisory" on these emails and so there is no warning of what is to come. What is it about humans that makes us take some sort of perverse pleasure in viewing pictures like that? I can't help but wish I were not human and can remove myself from all of this madness of killing and exploding and wars...none of them have any rationale whatsoever except in the minds of those killers.

Daffodils

2008-04-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

Spring always arrives for me with the arrival of the daffodils, all over the city as volunteers raise funds for the Cancer Society. I was well into adulthood when I saw a real daffodil and I was struck by its beautiful form and colour. Spring can take a while arriving, but the daffodils come out and smile in all their radiance, promising you warmer weather. The hyacinths and crocuses all come out at this time too, and they are just as beautiful, but daffodils are the most cheerful of all, at least I think so. So this week's picture is just that..my daffodils coming up in my little garden. I can't wait!!

Friends

2008-03-27T17:11:00.001-07:00

It must be at least five years since the series concluded, and I still watch the re-runs. I have watched it so many times, I actually know the lines, it is kind of sad. I have often wondered why I watch it almost everyday! Am I able to relate to these characters at some level? Is it that the show is realistic at some juvenile, ridiculous level? Or perhaps no other show has quite come up to replace Friends. Whatever it may be, I still watch the show and probably will for some time to come. I hope I learn the real names of the characters and not continue to refer to them as Monica, Chandler, Ross, Rachel, Joey and Phoebe!
picture courtery: imdb.com

Talk to Each Other

2008-03-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

Rarely do you a sign like that on an elevator! Well, I have never seen a sign like that before. It was printed in big bold letters and taped to the door with masking tape. I first noticed it on my way up, but I was stuck behind a huge guy and could barely see everyone's expression. As I came down arms laden with books (this was at a library) and two others got on I looked at both of them wondering if I ought to smile or start a conversation about the sign. But then the guy acknowledged the sign with a smile and said, "it would be nice," and I agreed, grinning. Then the girl standing next to me smiled and said, "yes it would, wouldn't it!" We had just got started, but the elevator was too fast so we got off smiling at each other. We didn't really 'talk' but it was nice that we at least smiled at each other. I wonder why strangers don't talk to each other on elevators? We seem to talk to strangers every where else, at least most public places.

A book by a different cover

2008-03-05T16:47:00.000-08:00

Subways are a great place to watch people, and I take particular interest in what people read, only because very few people read books these days. A majority of the commuters either listen to music and play with their cell phones or little portable computers or whatever they are called. Lately I have seen a lot of folks with Bibles and I figured it may have something to do with this being the Lent season.

Yesterday I was lucky enough to find a seat next to this dear old lady reading her Bible. I settled myself to watch people and slowly took a peek at the 'Bible' and what do I find, "In a Rebel's Arms"…and one line I managed to read said something like, "…he looked wild and untamed…" Somehow it did not strike me as a book in the Bible or that the wild and untamed individual was any of the people written about in the Bible. The book had this lovely dark fabric cover, hence my assumption (clever disguise for a raunchy cover). I wanted to laugh out loud as I glanced at the lady's deeply lined, serious face. I didn't dare grin.

As we neared her stop she carefully put her book away after making sure her bookmark (which looked like a child's drawing) was in place and the lovely fabric cover was free of creases. She then grabbed her elegant walking stick and got off the train.

I just stared after her wondering if it is ever too late for these crazy romance novels.

Really now!

2008-03-01T09:50:00.000-08:00

The Indian railway system, apparently the largest in the world is to receive a whopping amount of money, and of course officials claim they are improving services. One would hope so. I do hope this means there won't be many more babies falling through toilets.

The road less travelled

2008-02-07T05:54:00.000-08:00

I had to trudge through over a foot of snow this morning, and realised how it was easier when someone else had already walked ahead of me. I was walking in the other person’s footsteps, literally! It was so much harder when I had to wade through snow where no one had been. And then I got to a part where a lot of people had walked by and was relieved at the thought it should be easier to get through the rest of the way, but no such luck! Now that snow was harder and really slippery, and I had to walk more carefully, which slowed me down considerably.

This is like most things in life. It is always easier to go where people have been before, and harder to take the road less travelled. But then again, if lots of people have been there before, they have likely messed up the place or left the path too beaten and too difficult for you to make your way with fewer challenges.Sometimes its nice to take the road less travelled and other times its safer to follow in others footsteps. The choice is ours, and that is always a challenge, isn’t it?

Sink or swim

2008-01-25T11:38:00.001-08:00

You eat a meal and it takes around two to three hours to clear most of the gastrointestinal tract before settling in the colon for further absorption and breakdown. A lot of people empty their bowels once or twice a day, at least they should. When they do, I wonder how often people take a look at their poo poo? I certainly do! You poo poo can tell a lot about you.

What should it look like? This question came up in a class discussion on recycling hemoglobin (I say this, in case you are wondering if I sit around thinking crappy thoughts).

So what should it look like? According to most literature on defaecation, it should appear brown, not too soft or pebbly as far as the consistency goes, and it should sink, and of course as Oprah's handsome doc Oz would say, dive in smoothly without a splash!

Think about this the next time you take a dump, and take a peek.